Disclaimer: This article is in no way a reflection of any of my personal previous relationships. This is simply a reflection of what I have noticed and felt through friends, boys, and girl talk over the years. This is not directed towards anyone particular. Thank you for allowing me to share my ideas, and boys, don't get offended.
We live in a passive-aggressive age. We break up over phone calls, call out of work in a text, and end friendships over snapchat. We are arrogant in a sense. We were told we were the generation to save the world. We can do no wrong. However, this behavior can only stretch so far. We have become accustomed to blaming one another and attributing all of our flaws to external factors. For example, you didn't fail because you didn't prepare well, you failed because the teacher is terrible. It's not your fault you missed the deadline, it's their fault for not making it clearer or reminding you. And the boy you like definitely wants to go out with you, he has just been busy for the past 37 days you have asked- what a hard working individual. We hate responsibility.
Nothing is worse than accountability. We hate admitting we're wrong. And relationships aren't any different. The boy you just broke up with is blaming you for the heartbreak because "nice guys finish last" instead of acknowledging that he hasn't taken you on a date all semester, takes 3-4 business days to respond to your text, and probably hates your friends for hogging you. This Mr. Nice Guy only sees the times he took you on his fraternity date night and bought you a t-shirt, the time he helped you with your homework that one time, and texted you "Happy Birthday" at 11:50 p.m. at the last minute. We can all learn from this situation regardless of your relationship status.
Mr. Nice Guy is also very commonly Mr. Boring Guy. Nice boys usually take pride in their niceness. They think they possess that quality more than any of his other male counterparts. This is usually because he lacks a lot of other redeeming qualities. What about Mr. Caring Guy, Mr. Adventurous, Mr. Supportive, Mr. Funny. Sometimes relationships take more than an occasional compliment. Sometimes being nice takes away from the spark. It takes away from laughing over sarcastic comments and poking fun with one another. It takes away from being anything more than just nice. Obviously, this is not describing everyone, but this is just a generalization.
The same thing works for girls. We watch movies of girls crying over the boy that left them even though they were "the best thing that'll ever happen to them". Girls name call and slut-shame girls that follow after them. They stalk and hate any girl coming next. However, they often forget about the unreasonable demands, the fight about where to eat for dinner, and continuous need to be taken on extravagant dates they never offer to contribute to. We all need a reality check.
Now for the winner: This is Mr. Good Guy. These are the people that aren't too reserved to have a good time. These guys don't boast about being "nice" they just are. These people know how to balance different qualities and delight in all of them. They aren't boring by any means but know where to draw a line. They are respectful and supportive and caring and so many other things far greater and far more important than being confined to a single 4 letter adjective.
I think regardless of the position people take in your life, they should be ones that fulfill you in a myriad of ways. They are ones who take accountability, responsibility, initiative, and spirit into their relationships whether they be between classmates or roommates or boyfriends or girlfriends or bosses or coworkers or families. I believe that the time of nice guys finishing last is coming to an end as people realize how much more there is to offer. I believe in being these one of a kind people and never settling for less than one. I think it's important to take a step back and acknowledge every important characteristic and value them. I believe in positive relationships of all natures for all people. Here's to being so much more.