Sometimes, You Lose Friends Along The Way

Sometimes, You Lose Friends Along The Way

It might not be easy, but that person is no longer in your life for a reason.
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One of the many inevitable parts of life is that we most likely will lose a friend at some point. Sometimes it's graduating from high school and the distance of college makes you lose touch, or you just grow apart, or maybe something bad happens to cause a fight. No matter what the reason, when it happens, it's not usually the easiest thing to deal with.

When you become friends with someone you never think of the end. You just assume that this person will always be your friend. You don't want to think that this person would betray you, or that distance would cause the two of you to drift apart.

The sad thing is, losing a friend is sometimes more common than keeping one.

This inevitable part of life might not be that great, but for several reasons, it is OK. I am a true believer in everything happens for a reason. So I believe that while people come into your life for a reason, they also leave your life for a reason. We might not understand what that reason is right away, and we might never understand it all, but life moves on and we have to too.

The reason that you lose someone may be that they are holding you back. Have you ever had a friend that was never happy for you, and never supported you? Maybe they didn't have their priorities in order, and they didn't want you to have yours in order either. Maybe some great opportunity was waiting for you, but you needed to get rid of the one that was holding you back.

The reason that you lose a friend may also be that they never were really a friend to begin with. If this person ever lied to you, talked bad about you behind your back, made fun of you, tried to tear you down for doing something you love, or blamed you every time they treated you like crap, they probably weren't your friend in the first place. It's never a good experience to see someone's true colors come out, but better late than never.

Another reason that you lose a friend may be distance. This is always a tough one because you can't really blame either person, it's just a part of life. Life gets busy, and with the added distance to make the friendship harder to keep alive, sometimes people drift apart.

Whatever the reason may be that you lose a friend, doesn't make the loss any easier. However, you have to move on knowing that there must have been a reason that that person is no longer in your life, and hope that a better friend is waiting in the future.

Cover Image Credit: Stocksnap

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I remember when all of this started. I couldn't have predicted you if I'd tried. I was so focused on myself that it took me a while to even admit I was interested in you. You were the one I didn't see coming, and then before long, you were the one I couldn't imagine leaving.

I'll be honest. I lied to myself and to everyone else for a long time. “We aren't anything serious," I'd say. “I'm just having fun." How stupid was I to think that I could resist getting caught up in you? Those months that we spent together were some of the best of my life. I didn't think it was possible for a someone to make me laugh like you did, to make me feel the way you did. You brought out a side of me I had never seen before, and even though that scared me, I didn't want it stop.

You had me so fooled.

One day, just like that, you were gone, and before I knew it I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. I couldn't imagine how someone I had given so much to could just leave like that and not even look back. The months after that was a string of waking up and losing you all over again, telling my friends I was fine one second and crying to them the next. And the second I started thinking I was okay, I saw you again. We talked, I cried, I yelled, you cried, you yelled, and for a couple weeks I pretended that everything would be okay, and you really meant it this time and we would make it. But just like before, it wasn't real.

Realizing that took me longer than I'd like to admit, but this is what I need you to know: I'm moving on. Finally, after months of dialing your number just to talk myself out of it, I can say that I'm moving on. I won't listen to sad songs anymore. I won't look at our pictures and re-live the days we spent together. I'm erasing every trace of you. I'm smiling brighter, I'm laughing louder, and if it's the last thing I do, I swear I'll find something that's better than what we had.

That's not to say that your memory won't knock the breath out of me on a Tuesday afternoon when our song comes through my headphones. That's not to say that I won't remember the promises you made me and want to scream at myself for ever believing you. But the difference is that I'll recognize the pain in those memories, and then I'll set them down and walk away. Because I'm done carrying them with me and I'm done giving you that power over me.

So don't call me up someday when I've finally forgotten your laugh; don't think about me at all if you can help it. You lost that right when you made the choices you did. This isn't some stupid love story we'll tell later down the road about how we beat the odds and came through stronger on the other side. This is done, do you understand? I'm finally done.

Years from now I'll look back on the adventures we had and laugh at how crazy we were. I'll remember the fierce happiness I felt while we were running wild together and I'll be grateful for this because it has molded me in ways I can't begin to explain. Someday I'll tell my daughter about you and pray that she learns from my mistakes, and when that day comes I'll wonder where you are and genuinely wish you the kind of happiness that I will have found.

I know you'll never read this. But I'll read this, on those nights when it feels like everything is starting to fall apart. Again and again and again, I'll read this and remind myself of the promise I'm making at this very moment, to look forward and stop letting your memory dictate my happiness. Someone wise once said, “Suddenly you'll just know, that it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings." Well I'm trusting that this was just one short chapter of my book, and this is me turning the page.

Onto the next.

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No, Being The 'Mom Friend' Doesn't Suck, It's A Blessing

Let's face it, the squad would fall apart without you.

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"Do you have ibuprofen?"

"Have you seen my earrings?"

"Can you carry this?"

A Mom friend's job is never done. We must relate to our peers yet provide wise advice for them to just ignore (only for us to be proven right later). We must also be prepared for all contingencies, like preparing for a zombie apocalypse. But despite all of these appointed responsibilities (Mom friends are rarely self-appointed), being a Mom friend doesn't suck. Here are the top 5 reasons why:

1. Your friends know they will be safer with you around

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Even though it may suck making sure your drunk friend is taken care of, they are safer with you around. They may not say it, but they are grateful for your intervention. Because at the end of the day your sense of responsibility may have saved them from making dumb decisions that could ruin their lives.

2. People respect you 

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Responsibility + Dependability= A Good Reputation

3. You learn to listen instead of talk

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People are always going to want to talk about themselves. You may not want to hear it, but they'll tell you anyway, so why not just shut up and listen?

4. You will always have what you need

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Who's got ibuprofen? Anyone? Anyone?

5. Your dependability will make you a better employee and a better parent

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Spongebob is legit goals.

Just because you're a Mom friend doesn't mean you can't show the world your wild side. So the next time you're lamenting your Mom friend status, remember that you're allowed to let loose and have fun too!! The title of a Mom friend just means you're a good person, not a prude.

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