A long distance relationship (LDR) in college isn’t ideal.
In fact, most people refuse to accept it as a type of real relationship while they are away at school. We hear things all the time like “long distance relationships never work out” and “long distance couples are more likely to give into temptation,” but relationships are almost the same no matter how far away you are living.
Yes, being in a relationship hundreds of miles apart makes it harder, but it is possible for it to work as long as you are willing to try.
Sure, you may think I sound a little crazy, but I am a firm believer in it. I am currently in a very successful long distance relationship, and I have been for the last year and a half. So before you turn your cheek to the idea, before you stop a good relationship just because you don’t want to try something different, hear me out.
The distance is purely physical. You can’t let the distance affect you emotionally so you start to pull away from your significant other. You can’t get caught up in the number of miles between you. Focusing on the negative in any relationship, whether you’re 2 miles away or 2,000, will be the reason for a break up. Distance is never the sole reason for a relationship ending, although it can play a part in it or can be a stressor for the other bad characteristics of your relationship.
I think a lot of college students are sucked into this idea that to be able to have a successful relationship, you need to be able to sleep in their bed every night and go out on dates on a regular basis. The typical belief is that you’ll never be able to do that in an LDR, and although it is true that nothing is “regular,” you still can go on dates and do stuff that “normal couples” do. Instead of going on one date every Friday for a month, you end up going on 3-4 dates in one long weekend in place of that.
What I have noticed the most in my relationship is that the distance has made my relationship stronger. We have been tested by the distance and passed with flying colors; however, distance has made us more independent, and the time apart gives us time to realize how important doing your own thing is in a relationship. I also get to spend more time with my friends when we are away from each other, so I don’t turn into that girl that ditches anyone for her boyfriend. In addition, I always tell people that couples that are not in LDRs lose their honeymoon phase a little bit quicker, and couples that are in LDRs keep that spark for longer. The reason being is, after all that time apart, when you finally get to see each other again it’s like you fall in love all over again.
You may think long distance sounds like the worst way to spend your relationship, and although the distance does suck (it isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time, but what relationship is?), the good balances it out. Plus, if you are in love, why not try it? The distance will not last forever. Guaranteed, if you put 100% into your relationship, there will always be a point in time where the distance will go away.
If the idea of living away from your significant other for a little while scares you, face your fears and try. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But there is no harm in trying.
