My husband and I have been together on and off since we were sixteen. I am now 30-years-old. We began dating at 16, he was my first love, the stealer of my virginity and also my first heartbreak.
We broke up at age 22 because he wanted to party and have fun and so did I. For four years we would call each other for random hook ups here and there until finally at age 26 we decided enough with the games and got back together. Shortly after we were married. He had gotten into some trouble while we weren't together and placed on probation.
Thanksgiving of 2015 my world came crashing down—he was arrested for violating his probation. I was convinced and hoping that he would just have his probation reinstated. However, the day the judge sentenced him to three years in prison life as I had always known it to be changed completely forever.
To the women who don't agree with me sticking by him through this I ask you what would you do if you were in my shoes?
Would you just give up on the person you love because the situation is not ideal? No, you wouldn't because see that's what makes a strong marriage is going through real life and hardships together but still coming out TOGETHER.
To the women who judge me and call me stupid: In case you have forgotten, I am innocent. I do not agree with his crime either but he is still my husband. Maybe instead of judging me, you can realize I am also a victim of this crime. He is someone's son, someone's husband, and someone's father. He is a person too whether you choose to think so or not. If you have nothing better to do than criticize my untraditional marriage well then I feel sorry for you.
To the women who say this is not a real marriage, I guarantee you he and I experience more love while he is incarcerated than you will ever experience in a lifetime. See we have learned how to love each other with absolutely no physical contact or sexual relationship what so ever during his prison sentence. We have had all that before and while it is amazing and I miss it every day. We are now loving each other through, supervised visits, letters, phone calls, and from a distance. Most marriages these days are so consumed by the struggles of new technology, people don't write letters anymore.
Instead, you get a text message. Instead of homemade cards from the heart, you get an electronic card through email. But through my marriage in prison, we have connected in an old-fashioned way. Something we have never shared before and it has brought us so much closer together. Believe it or not, his incarceration has helped heal my panic disorder. I didn't realize just how strong I could be without him here until now.
I have been afraid of my own shadow for years. I am the person who would never get on a plane, never drive long distances, never ride roller coasters. But when my husband was sent nine hours away for prison, I looked my fears in the face and drove through what seemed endless panic attacks until I could finally see his face and for that, I am grateful because for him, the man I love, I did it.
I have managed bills on my own, as well as learned to live and sleep alone. Don't you think I hate going to bed alone and waking up alone every night? Absolutely. But, It does not matter if he is serving three years or thirty years. My husband is my husband. I took my vows seriously and I will never give up on him because he is my husband. For better or for worse until death do us part.
Why is our society so dead set on divorcing when the situation is not ideal? Divorce is not the answer. You married a person for a reason and sometimes when things get rough you need to search deep within you to find that reason again. my husband is my soul mate there is not a doubt in my mind. We grew up together and grew into the people we are today learning from each other. He is my best friend.
People need to stop being so quick to judge women in my situation just because it isn't the traditional marriage.
What marriage is these days?
In this world, there aren't many left. If you can keep your marriage alive through letters and phone calls and a short hug at visitation, your marriage can overcome anything. We are the strongest we have ever been together and I wouldn't trade this time apart for anything in the world.
Of course, I miss him so much that it hurts.
Of course, I have bad days where I am angry at him for leaving me. I am only human.
But we love each other through it.
