Bullying has such a detrimental effect on our society and is increasing as the advancements in technology and social media increase throughout the decades. I personally know about the effects and the terrors that come from bullying, because I have dealt with bullies firsthand throughout my lifetime. Not many know this, but from kindergarten all the way through the beginning of high school, I was bullied. For anyone who has never experienced bullying, let me describe every emotion and feeling that I have endured and felt almost my entire life.
I’ve struggled with my weight for many years and because of it I was made fun of, emotionally abused and rejected by almost everyone I met in school. My days were full of children who would judge me by the way I looked without even taking a second to get to know me and get to know my story. I spent many days alone on the playground or home alone in my room wondering “Why? Why do they choose to pick on me every single day and constantly take away every bit of happiness I own?” Because of the lifetime of lies being shoved in my face and the constant judging, I slowly began to believe them. I started thinking terrible thoughts about myself and about the way I looked. Because of those bullies, I have suffered years of hurt and have struggled with terrible self-esteem issues. I’ve spent many nights crying myself to sleep and hoping that someone or something would come and take the pain away. Many people made fun of me for so many years that I began to accept it as a part of my life and started to suppress my feelings so that no one would see how badly their words and actions killed me on the inside. Because of them, I have always been scared of meeting new people, scared of what thoughts and feelings go through their mind when they first glance at me. Having the opportunity to meet new people has terrified me my whole life and has been the cause of most of my anxiety for many, many years.
I began going to Mountain Lake Church around the beginning of middle school where I met this incredible group of women who were going through many of the same issues and problems with bullying. Little did I know that this group would forever change my life. The incredible women who led the circle taught me that no matter what others say or do, you will always and forever be your own unique and beautiful person. With their help and their love toward me, I was able to find myself and really embrace my own unique beauty. I have been able to conquer the pain and the torture that the bullies have made me endure throughout my life and I am here to say that no matter what you’ve been through, you can conquer it too. It may not be easy–many days, you may struggle or feel like you’re not going to be able to continue on any longer, but I am here to say that anything is possible and that you can overcome anything you put your mind to.
Yes, many people throughout my life have hurt me. Enduring the pain and the emotional abuse has been one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. Because of them, I have had a hard time trusting people in my life because I never know what’s going on in their minds about me. Because of them, I have this never-ending pain in my heart that they have caused. But because of them, I am a better person. I’ve experienced neglect, hatred toward myself and have constantly struggled with being able to believe that I am perfect in my own way, but now that I have overcome all of these emotions, I am now able to help others who may be going through the same thing. Yes, they have hurt me more than I could ever imagine and I will always be affected because of it, but because of the bullying they have enforced on my life, I know for a fact that I am so much better of a person. I’ve taught myself to stand up strong and fight back with only love. So I would just like to say thank you–thank you for everything you have put upon my life, because I am forever changed for the better.
I am strong. I am beautiful. I am unique. I am myself. And I am loved.