At some point in your life, there was probably something you didn't particularly like about yourself. Whether it was that piece of hair that wouldn't cooperate, or that pimple that wouldn't go away, or your size and body. You were probably very hard on yourself, as if these were things that you could control. And then to add to all of this, someone began saying something to you or staring at you about these things that you didn't have control over. Believe me, I get it. I've been bullied and want to tell my story to make people aware and bring attention to an issue that affects millions of people. I know a lot of people won't have the ability to relate to my particular story, but I hope you can take something away from it.
I was very hard on myself and did a lot of things to try to change the person I was. If being hard on myself wasn't enough, people began being even harder on me. As a child, I was very conscious and critical of the things I didn't like about myself. I constantly worried about what other people thought and worried that they were judging me. I used to be 200 pounds in seventh grade. I was a bit overweight (to say the least). I resented myself for letting it get that out of hand but just couldn't work myself up to making the life change of losing weight. I would go to school with one thing on my mind: Do I look good enough for them to leave me alone today? The answer was always no; no matter how hard I tried, nothing I ever did was good enough. I was either judged on the size of my jeans, my acne, my weight, or my general appearance as a whole. People would stare from a distance (aka a few feet away) and whisper something (as if I didn't have ears). I always heard. Always. They would even make their way up to me and say stuff straight to my face. My heart would break a little more every time. On the inside, I was falling apart. But on the outside, I laughed with them and became a bully too. I bullied myself and laughed at myself with them so that I wouldn't be left out. Looking back on this situation, you're probably thinking, "Wow, why would she let people do that to her?" Sticking up for myself and losing my "friends" wasn't something I wanted to do. I sacrificed my happiness and mental health to fit in with my peers. It's very hard to stick up for yourself when everyone else seems to be against you. No matter what, you're the odd man out. That was me. People knew I was bullied but never said anything. I'm sure it was the same in your situation. Very rarely do people stick up for the victim.
Always remember that you are not alone. You may feel alone, but I can promise you that it will be OK. Focus on bettering yourself and separate yourself from the situation. Do something to pick someone else up instead of kicking them while they're down.
Bullying is something that happens every day. Instead of being the victim, bully or bystander, do something to change the situation. Be the change and impact people positively, instead of changing their life in a negative way. If you won't make a change by yourself, how do you expect others to?
