Growing up I always had it easy in school. Without trying I would get 100 percent on every homework and test. I was in advanced math classes, spent my recesses in classrooms learning more or helping teachers set up for different projects or labs. I had a photographic memory and could look at something once or twice and have it memorized for a test. I competed in math and writing competitions and when I got to high school, I competed in math and science competitions, was enrolled in Honors and AP classes, and never really had to study at the beginning. But as I got older, my classes started to get harder. I was one of those kids that never got below a 90 percent in a class, and now here I was in 10th grade with a D in Algebra II. Math had always been my strong-suit and I had skipped Algebra I freshman year, but my math grades started going down as did my history grades. We didn't know why, so I went to my school psychologist who decided I had test anxiety. When I would see a test, I would forget everything I knew. Many teachers realized this, but they knew if they would ask me any question in person, I could answer it. I had different teachers tell me I knew more about their subject than most students do, but my grades wouldn't tell anyone that. But give me a pen and the test, and I was in trouble. Still, I kept my head high and made sure I didn't let my grades get to me. I remained in honors and AP classes and figured out a way to still do well enough to get into the program I wanted for college: Engineering.
Everyone says engineering is hard. But I never missed a class, studied more than everyone else, and I still had to lowest grades in my group of friends. Here I am, the summer after my first year of college, retaking a class just to try to bump my GPA up to get a decent co-op. When I came home from college on breaks or weekends, my mom started to notice I was acting differently and brought it up that I might have ADD. When I told my close friends and boyfriend, they all agreed. There was nothing wrong with it, they could just tell something was off, and it might be affecting my grades. So finally, after the year was over, I called a therapist and went in to talk about getting tested for ADD/ADHD and Anxiety. I am now diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive type, which was formerly known as ADD.
To determine if I had ADD, I was administered an IQ test. I had never had an official one done before so I thought it was pretty cool. The section that shows if you have ADD is normally lower than all of the other ones, which it was for me. However, my section was still considered to rank in the normal range, my other sections ranked significantly higher. So there I sat, a "gifted" kid with ADD who finally had all the answers. While talking to my mom about it all, she said it had become apparent when taking standardized tests in grade school, that my estimated IQ was significantly higher than what my test scores were showing it to be. So my brain had all of the opportunity to do very, very well, but instead had a fault that was making my scores lower. My IQ test showed I rank in the 98th percentile of adults my age, and that is with ADD. If I didn't have it or if I get treated, I could be even better.
I could be a genius, I could be getting co-ops to various companies that most people dream about, I could have a 4.0 and maintain all of my scholarships. But the main problem with all of this is my GPA. It is holding me back because I can't perform well in classes. My anxiety keeps me from taking my time on tests, and instead makes me want to fill in every bubble for choice C and leave the lecture hall. I'm still doing a lot better than most students, I am in one of the hardest majors on any college campus and I survived my freshman year. Not everyone can say that. But for those who struggle a bit more than me, I cannot say I understand you because we are each unique in our own ways, but what I can say is you are brilliant. Grades shouldn't be a thing because I am smart, but my GPA says otherwise. I might not get a co-op for the first year. I might be told by different advisors or professors that I just need to drop engineering as a whole.
But people also said that to many geniuses. Thomas Edison was described as "scrambled" because of his ADD and ADHD and many other inventors and entrepreneurs dropped out of school because they were told they would never succeed. We wouldn't have the light bulb if it wasn't for Edison. We wouldn't have a lot of things if these brilliant people listened to others' opinions. I'm not saying I am a genius, but I am saying grades don't determine how smart or wise you are. Grades are just numbers that won't mean a thing years from now. When you have a job, no one is going to care what you got on your Chemistry II final. So why should they determine everything now?
