Why are abusive men allowed to roam this planet? Why does society allow men to be like this? What makes it okay for a man to just swoon a woman, and then stand her up? What makes it okay for a man to pelt a series of insults at a woman? What makes it okay for a man to hit a woman? Sexually assault a woman? What makes any of this okay.
Here’s an animated short about abuse:
I have had my own experiences with domestic abuse. I had a man tell me that he didn’t like the way I looked, my apartment was poorly kept, and that he didn’t like the way I dressed. I allowed that to happen. Fixing this invisible relationship became my entire life. Why I allowed this to happen was beyond me.
I’m finally in a better place now. I’m at a place where I can finally be happy, without having to worry about that horrible monster. Without having to worry about my own thoughts.
I don’t have to feel hopeless or ashamed anymore. I don’t have to feel trapped. I don’t have to feel the voices, and I don’t need to feel alone. I don’t have to feel these things anymore because it's not happening to me.
But it still happens to others.
Behind closed doors somewhere is a family suffering. Is a woman who married for love, but thought maybe someday the man would change? She thought that he would stop being mean. But he never did. He takes it out on her. Shouts at her, or screams at her… but then he takes it out on the kids.
Abuse for some is a scary cycle that starts from incidents like that one above. Take a look. A closer look:
You see men do this because these men were abused once upon a time. It's all they ever know like the video states. Isn't that a sad thought? That all someones ever known is abuse?
That’s what its like for me as well. My whole life I've been abused. I’ve been abused by family, I've been abused by lovers. Many a lover. Almost all of them. It’s not just me either, somewhere else is a woman getting just as abused as I was. Emotionally. Physically.
Emotional abuse is like waking up , and instead of him saying “I love you.” Every morning its “Why do you look like hell today?” Emotional abuse is instead of him saying you look pretty, he says “Why don’t you lose a little more weight?” Until you starve yourself. Because you tell yourself you love him. Emotional abuse is waiting all night for him to come on a date, and to have him never show up. Emotional abuse… is all those broken promises he never kept to you. Emotional abuse is like living a nightmare. Emotional abuse is like letting him have sex with countless other woman, while you remain not allowed to even look at another man without a jealous remark. It’s scary. Anyone can be a victim.
Physical abuse is being scared to move. If you move, go anywhere he will come after you with his hand. Its even scarier than emotional abuse. Its
“Will not having dinner ready on time make him beat me?” “What time is he going to beat me at today?” “Will my friends notice these new scars?” “Will god kill me soon so I don’t have to live with this?” “Will my teachers notice these bruises?” “When will he strike next?” It's like sitting in a closet, crying your eyes out begging for some sort of salvation.
But salvation never comes. Because you don’t end the cycle, it continues all through your life.
Your friends watch you go through it, they don’t know what to say or how to help. You know the best thing for you, would be to talk to someone, but you're scared to. Nobody will stand up to this big bully (which is what you need) you just want someone to look at him and say “Leave her alone.” Which you can’t do yourself because you will be beaten. You pray a prayer for serenity.
“Get me out of this hell.” You command god.
“Get me away from him.” You beg.
“Please, hes going to kill me.”
But help never comes.
You walk away from him finally, or your finally carried away in a body bag.
I cannot tell you how abusive some men are to women. These types of men do NOT deserve these woman whats-so-ever.
If someone comes to you with an issue regarding emotional abuse. Please do the following:
- Don’t look at them like they are crazy about their partner.
- Treat them with love, treat them with respect, listen.
- Once you listen, tell them they need to tell somebody.
- Explain to them they do NOT deserve whats happening and take them to the police with permission for help.
- Get them as far away from that man as humanly possible.
If you are dealing with this kind of abuse, you CAN get the help you deserve! You CAN get out of it, and you CAN come out strong, alive, and vibrant!
To those seeing those going through it, please help them. Please love them. No one deserves abuse. There is no excuse for abuse.
