"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection." Thomas Paine

I chose to smile and I still choose to.

Don't get me wrong. Smiling isn't an easy thing, but it's my thing. Everyone knows me as being the wild, bold, tell it like it is woman, but everyone knows me for my smile. I get it from my mom, Shelly. I smile for many reasons. When I'm happy, excited, nervous and even when I am frustrated. I am always laughing. Why? Because life is too short to stay miserable and down. Smiling is my way of releasing my feelings into the earth and showing who I am.

After the loss of both my mother and brother, I figured I had two choices: To either be sad and miserable all the time, or to make the most of what I have and to smile and keep pushing forward. Life is never easy, it's not meant to be. God doesn't give us what we can't handle, so I guess he thinks I'm a badass. He gave us expression and choices. So I chose to smile. Smiling for my mom because my memories consist of her laughing and enjoying life, even when she knew cancer was consuming hers. Smiling for my brother because the memories I have of him are us as kids getting into trouble and laughing about it.

I smile, you smile, we all smile.

One of my favorite parts about life is being able to express how I'm feeling. Whether I feel sad, happy, confused, frustrated, angry or even flustered. Smiling is my expression to almost every situation. Even when I've hit my highest level of frustration, I noticed myself smiling. As I grow older, I always try to think of where my life is going, but I always end up with a smile on my face. Knowing that I have no idea where I'm headed or what I'll do, makes me smile because anything could happen.

Some of my friends have their lives mapped out. Unlike them, I am the oddball. No idea what to do or where to go with my future leaves me confused but hopeful, and of course, smiling. My greatest memories all have one thing in common. Pure joy. Through every time I cried or was scared, once I let myself relax, I knew that the only way to cure my sadness and depression was to laugh and be happy. Even if that meant watching an hour and a half of funny cat and dog videos on Youtube.

My words of advice for all you reading this are simple: Things may be tough now, you may feel depressed and sad, but at the end of the day it is up to you to make your life what you want it to be. Don't let your thoughts consume your life. Release that awesome smile into the world, show them what you got and that you're not quite finished yet. Even if they want you to be.