In just a few short weeks, I’m going to become a mom for the first time! It’s all very exciting, new, and just a little terrifying. But, I think I’ll manage!
Like any first time mom, I’ve had lots of questions about this whole new adventure. A friend of mine suggested I join some mom groups on Facebook. She said they’re a great way to get some advice on everything mom related. So, I joined a few.
Truth be told, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
There are tons of women posting throughout the day and I can’t go through a Facebook feed check without finding at least one post. Honestly, I skim through nearly every one. What I’ve found most surprising is the disturbingly overwhelming number of women with mediocre (at best) significant others.
I’m well aware that there are lots of dead-beat dads out there that have little to do with their children’s lives. And I know that there are certainly significant others that don’t really understand parenthood. I’m just shocked at how many there actually are.
It leaves me wondering: where have all the good dads gone?
Each and every time I read one of these posts about a piss-poor dad, I count my blessings that my significant other is above and beyond an amazing dad and partner. I know now (more than ever) that I am one of the lucky ones.
But I’m still pretty confused. How have we come this far in society to have fathers that still don’t understand what being a parent really means?
Why don’t they understand that being a mom is a full-time job? Even if the mom is a stay-at-home parent, it doesn’t mean she has all kinds of free time on her hands.
Why don’t they understand that recovering from giving birth (i.e. pushing a HUMAN out of your body) takes time to recover mentally, physically, and emotionally?
Why don’t they understand that parenting takes teamwork?
Part of me wonders if the reason men don’t understand parenthood is because of the stereotypes we place on men or the way they’re treated in the workplace. For example, why is paternity leave not a common practice in our country? Actually, don’t get me started on that. That’s a whole other ordeal in itself that seriously needs reconsideration!
But, really, as a society, we shouldn’t be praising the dads that are doing well as parents. That should be assumed of them, just as it’s assumed of moms. We should expect more of dads than we currently do. We need to get them to understand their responsibility in parenthood.
Maybe one day, all of those great dads that are out there will have enough influence to drive these less-than-average dads to become great.
One can only hope.
Until then, at least moms have group boards on Facebook to vent their frustrations and realize they aren’t alone in all of this.
