This article is going to be a bit lengthy, so if you like them short and sweet and don’t have the patience to take time and get the message I’m trying to get across, then this article isn’t for you.
However, I’m also writing this from my perspective. so this article will be according to those intentions. This is an Odyssey article; An odyssey being a lifelong journey, and with this journey comes the greatest obstacle you could ever encounter in life: Loss.
When you’re dealing with a loss:
It’s feels like it’s your fault.
Perhaps you could’ve done something to prevent this.
Not every loss is death: Loss of opportunity, breakups, breakups from best friends, loss of possession. You ask God why did he take what had seemed so good away from you and make things bad for your life. You prayed and prayed and prayed that God would not take them that instant.
But your prayers failed.
You’re starting to wonder if there is even some Great one above our horizons watching over us and making sure that we really are okay. The emotions you’re going through are taking a ride on this emotional rollercoaster until you reach the top of the hill.
Then gravity hits. And the cart drops.
You’re angry, disgusted, confused and tell yourself “God wouldn’t do this to me if he loved me,” or, “Why would something so horrible happen to such a kind person?”
I’m Christian (Not hardcore, but Christian) so when something happens or I want something to happen, I’m praying to God asking him to defend my case. And it doesn’t always work like that. It’s like a parent deal: You ask for something, they either say yes, or no. Only in this predicament the answer no is another word for “I have something greater for you.” Or “Now is not the time,”
You think about those moments you’ve been with a loved one, a friend or even someone that inspired you on a TV, someone who possibly writes, act, possibly a public speaker; Imagine they were gone tomorrow.
They were ill, an accident occurred,
Victim of a hate crime.
The loss of an individual should not always dwell on the hate for what or how their story was cut short. You should think of the positive experiences that you’ve had with this person and reflect on what you’ve learned from this individual, how they’ve changed your life. How they contributed to your story
And it’s okay to grieve.
Always count on the Five Stages of Grief: Shock and Denial, Anger, Depression and Detachment, Dialogue and Bargaining and Acceptance.
Feel confused, feel the need to blame someone for losing that important thing to you, you will get a new car, a new house a new friend, spouse.
“But you can’t find a new mother.”
Yes, you’re angry I get it, frustration takes over because Mom or Dad isn’t here anymore to tell you how to handle the situation you are in. But you have been observant. You know what sacrifices it takes to get food on the table because you watched how your mother broke her back every morning and night to make sure you weren’t hungry.
“But what if I fail?”
To be overwhelmed is completely normal. You didn’t get that job you wanted because the employer found out you didn’t have that degree required for the position. You lack the will power because the one person you thought would always be there for your downfall is no longer around. You soon lose the will to want to do anything for yourself and soon fall into this deep hole of helplessness. Depression isn’t a joke: it could take weeks, months or even years depending upon the significance of what you’ve lost.
Sometimes the right path isn’t always the easiest one.
And if the constant come and go of things in your life is what it takes to make you a better person, then let it happen, because whether you realize it or not you are learning from every single encounter that you’ve had with any and everything in this world.
A door will shut, but another will open.
Consider your struggle as building blocks as creating the better you, preparing you for what those long nights of prayer were for.
Maybe a new friend, new spouse, new job opportunity.
New Reason to honor those you cannot replace.
And with those opportunities you can take the time to share your stories with times you’ve shared with those you’ve lost, dead or alive.
Share the funny story of how you were rejected by the job you thought your life depended on, but was offered a job ten times better a month later. Learning to move on is the best thing that could happen for you.
And maybe, after all the mental and emotional obstacles you went through, you will learn to accept that everything happens for a reason.
Usually for the better.
