When Your First Sexual Experience Isn't Consensual
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

My First Time Was Not Consensual, And My Story Is More Than A Statistic

The next time you want to know about someone's sex life, take a moment and remember not everyone's first time is consensual.

895
My First Time Was Not Consensual, And My Story Is More Than A Statistic

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of sexual assault.

"So when did you lose your virginity?" she asked me.

I froze up, hit with panic and anxiety.

On the spot, I made up a good story about how I lost my virginity. But the truth was — for me and for so many others — my first time having sex was not consensual.

In September 2019, a study done by researchers for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1 out of every 16 women said their first sexual intercourse was nonconsensual.

In 2020, we hear story after story of sexual assault in the news. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will be the victim of sexual violence in his or her lifetime.

While you could have good intentions in asking someone about how they lost their virginity or when the last time they had sex was, the impact can be very different depending on one's personal experience. As a survivor, I'm actually at a place in my healing journey where I am owning what happened to me.

And if people ask me about my first time, I will tell them my first time was not consensual.

I don't tell people this to feel bad for me, I don't say it to make things awkward or to make them uncomfortable. I tell them the authentic truth hoping it will spark a conversation and open up people's eyes to the reality of sexual assault. Sexual assault statistics speak for themselves but when you put a face and story to a statistic it becomes real.

So, next time you want to know about someone's sex life, take a moment and remember not everyone's first time is consensual.

Report this Content
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

55186
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

35549
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957619
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

185052
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments