Since my freshman year of high school, I felt that I was ready for college. I wanted to get the hell out of my small town and start new adventures. I knew I was going to face a lot of change going into my first semester of college, but I never imagined that it would stray from the plan that I had in my head. In my mind, I imagined little work and a lot of play, an unbreakable bond with my roommates, having a big group of friends, and a ton of new adventures.
After the first month, I realized how very wrong I was about the workload, and I was also introduced to the "broke life" of a college student due to overusing Ubers (URI students understand). I was struggling to make friends and the sorority I initially was "in" had gotten kicked off campus, and I was subsequently let go as a member. I had awesome people as roommates, but we didn't "click", so I found myself constantly feeling lonely. I soon realized that it was impossible to have a "plan" in college. I was contemplating transferring from a school I loved solely due to the fact that I was lonely, broke, and I missed home. It felt like every choice I made was the wrong one.
I never thought that I would be in the position of unhappiness. I had freedom and all the time in the world to start creating my happiness, but I just couldn't seem to find it. For most of my first semester I stayed in bed, went to class, watched Netflix; repeat. I was in a never-ending cycle of doing nothing. It was hard to see all my high school friends living it up at their new schools and I became envious. I started looking at schools to transfer to, but every time I thought I found the new school of my dreams, I couldn't bring myself to leave URI. I had a lot of "what ifs" about leaving URI and starting over again. I felt like I was quitting.
I really thought I would find who I was in my first semester of college. I had all these big expectations for myself, but I never went out and tried to achieve them. I figured opportunities would come knocking, but they never did. Next semester I want to go out of my comfort zone and not stick to one "plan". I know I want to get more involved in the school and find my place in a new sorority, but most importantly I want to try and find myself; not get lost once more. I'm going to stick by the quote, "Do it with passion or not at all" and really put effort into whatever it is I decide to pursue. I'm not calling this a resolution because I never follow through, but I do plan on making some big changes next semester.
Things are looking up for me and I can say that I am happy that I have decided to give it one more go at URI because momma didn't raise no quitter.
