Just last week, I was on my way to class and found myself walking behind these two girls.They were good friends, you could tell by the way they exchanged conversation. The girl on the left was talking about something that was bothering her and the girl on the right was listening. After about a minute or two, the girl who was talking said, "Oh my God. I'm just rambling. Don't pay attention to me. Sorry." Her friend, the one who was listening, turned to her and said, "Why are you apologizing? I'm your friend."
Nothing really strange about that, right? I thought nothing of it at first either. But after a few minutes, I replayed the end of their conversation again in my head, and some of the words stuck out that didn't stick out the first time I heard it:
"I'm just rambling...Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
Why was she apologizing to her friend for rambling to her? Isn't that what friends are for? Her friend even said, "Why are you apologizing?" Did the girl who was rambling really want to apologize for rambling or did she want to thank her friend for listening?
Our society is cultured to say “sorry” instead of “thank you.” Why is that? I’m asking a question that I really don’t know the answer to, so what’s to follow is just me thinking out loud: maybe our society is so self-centered that we think everything is about us. “Sorry I am late” instead of, “thank you for being patient.” Maybe we feel the need to justify our actions and make excuses for ourselves: “Sorry I couldn’t study last night, I had a lot of other homework to do,” instead of, “thank you for taking the time to go over the chapter with me. I really appreciate it.”
There are certainly times when the word sorry is appropriate. Hey, I'm really sorry for what I said yesterday. I'm sorry you didn't get the job you wanted. Sorry, could you repeat that? But, we shouldn't be saying 'sorry' when we want to say 'thank you.'
I think that when we say sorry instead of thank you it negatively impacts our society. No matter if we are justifying our actions, if we are being selfish, or whatever else the reason could be, there is a fundamental problem with saying “sorry” instead of saying “thank you.”
We are not thanking the people who are helping us.
It's a habit, and it'll be hard for us all to break. But, try to think of it from your friend's perspective. If you're in a slump and your friend is helping you out, try saying, "thanks for spending time with me today," instead of, "sorry I'm such a drag today." By thanking your friend for spending time with you, your friend will know that you appreciate them and that their kindness isn't going unnoticed. If you only say, "sorry I'm such a drag," your friend might not know if their spending time with you is helping at all.
So, if you want to say thank you, say thank you; let people know that you appreciate their friendship.
When you want to say thank you, don't say sorry.
