Never in my life did I think I would find someone as amazing, caring, smart, or wonderful as you. After losing you the first time, I vowed to never lose you again. When you left, I thought my world was crumbling, but letting you go is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I reflect back I feel as if no matter what was going on you were always there to support me when in reality I was the one who was there for you. Now that you’re gone I can come to terms with what was happening: I loved you, but you wouldn’t let yourself love me.

To me, love was laughing at corny jokes, getting lost on the way back to campus at midnight, supporting each other to do better, getting carried through “haunted” buildings when someone wore flip flops (still sorry about that), knowing that I could talk to you about anything and everything, always having you to hold me when I was upset, ultimately being best friends. What do you do when you are in love with someone, but they don’t feel the same way?

1. Remember you are ALWAYS good enough.

When I fell in love for the first time, I was honestly caught by surprise. I knew he was leaving and we wanted to just be friends, but the night we loaded up on the bus to go to his formal, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks: I was wholeheartedly, head over heels in love with him. Two weeks later we said our last goodbyes. I was constantly racking my brain as to why he didn’t love me. Maybe I just wasn’t enough for him, maybe I cared too much.

Then I understood the true issue: we just weren’t suitable for each other. Yes, we both cared for one another but that just wasn’t enough. Naturally when things between us first ended I was having problems with my self-confidence, but as time passed my confidence slowly restored to its former glory. Whether I doll myself up just because, post the perfect selfie, take an hour long bubble bath, watch Legally Blonde for the umpteenth time, re-read “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” for the thousandth time, attempt to sing that I Love Myself (or anything by Adele), or go for a run to clear my head, I know whoever has the opportunity of falling in love with me will love me almost as much as I love myself. Never forget to compliment yourself. Fixate on your best qualities, not what you think is your worst. Focusing on yourself is the best thing to do after an attack on your ego, which leads me to my next tip.

2. Do what makes YOU happy.

When things first end, it is okay to be upset. Have a good cry or two, and move on. Figuring out what truly makes YOU happy is extremely important and often difficult. You have to understand the difference of something making you happy or someone else being happy and you feeling content with that. I used to be the kind of person who would put everyone's happiness above my own. I tried to be friends with the guy I was still in love with, which was the hardest summer of my life. Between constantly watching what I said and my heart dropping every time his name showed up on my phone, my life was full of stress that could have easily been avoided. For the sake of our friends we were cordial but when I noticed how negative talking to him was for me, I dropped him like white after labor day. After that pivotal moment, I realized that sometimes it’s okay to put myself before others. From that moment on I began living life completely different. I began having me-time early in the morning, reading my favorite book on my favorite swing overlooking Lake Pontchartrain.

3. While they might be your first love, they won’t be your last.

Since my first real heartbreak, I’ve learned love presents itself in interesting ways. You can fall in love with people, of course, but places, activities, and so many other parts of life, people are constantly overlooking. While falling out of love with him, I fell in love (again) with my sorority, my friends, my life, and most importantly I fell in love with myself. The very night my time with my first love ended, I felt as though there was a hole in my heart that could never be replaced. Since then I have filled said hole with writing, politics, hiking, and so many other qualities that make me who I am today. I have faith that one day I will find my “true love”, and when the timing is right I’ll know.

4. Timing is everything.

Maybe the timing was wrong, maybe the location was wrong. There are so many factors that occur with finding love that it feels almost impossible. Certain events could happen, you could find each other just to move away, someone else unexpectedly showing up in your life to take attention elsewhere, whatever the case may be. The most famous quote I hear when I complain about being single is “when you stop looking for someone, is when someone finds you”. So focus on you honey, because your someone will show up out of the woodwork almost the exact moment you realize you don’t need a significant other.

5. You are not alone.

Once you get used to sleeping next to someone every night the transition back to sleeping by yourself is a struggle. You don’t have big arms to protect you or someone to pull in close, so what do you do? Honestly, I have a teddy bear that is life-sized to sleep every night and to cuddle up with. But what do you do when you don’t have your “someone” to talk to or see every day? My roommate, along with my other sorority sisters and friends, is constantly there for me no matter what the occasion is. After my first love left I became closer with my own sorority, and weirdly enough his fraternity, who I now consider to be some of my closest friends. I met forever friends, all because a boy didn’t love me. I praise my best friends and family for being there for me through thick and thin. Their constant presence assures me that I will never, ever be alone.

Your person didn’t love you back, the timing could be wrong, whatever the situation may be, we know love is a funny emotion. If you are single, dating someone, or even in a relationship, spend some time on yourself. Losing yourself in someone else is a terrible feeling to endure. Find yourself by re-reading your favorite book or even go to the driving range at your local golf course and get your anger (or whatever feelings you have) out by hitting balls two hundred yards out. Focus on friends, family, and ultimately yourself and everything else will fall into place.

PS: I would like to thank the boy who broke my heart because without you I would not be the person I am today. You’ve proven to me the love I have for myself is nowhere near the love you could have ever given me.