Every group of female friends have had this conversation. They have assigned the roles: who is a Carrie, a Samantha, a Charlotte, and a Miranda? Next time you find yourself fighting to be a Carrie: You are a Miranda. Vogue or dinner? Shoes or a house? I thought so -- realistic, honest, supportive, and absolutely not putting up with anyone’s crap. Miranda.
1. "I am never going to be happy. It's just not going to happen for me."
2. "I want to enjoy my success, not apologize for it."
3. "The least he could do is wait to get to know me before he rejects me!"
4. "He's just not that into you. So move on."
5. "Last night, Steve and I held hands for an hour and a half watching the fire. He was looking into my eyes, I was looking for the remote."
6. "And by the way, never never call me again. Have a nice day.
7. "You know what used to make me feel better? Cookies."
8. "She was a lawyer. He was a sandwich."
9. "I can't believe that a guy would think that I was sexy."
10. "Jesus, every time you get near him you turn into this pathetic, needy, insecure victim and the thing that pisses me off the most? That you're more than willing to go right back for more."
11. "We loved, thank you. You enriched my life, now go prosper. But I'm more: We didn't work out. You need to not exist."
The only appropriate response to a text from an ex.