In just a little over a year, two friends and one of my teachers passed away. All three were in vehicle accidents. All three had a significant impact on who I am today. These people were taken from my life suddenly without a chance for goodbyes.
The first, Kathleen Oliver, was my cheer captain. She was the girl that everyone aspired to be. She would be there when you needed her for advice or just for a good laugh. She was the life of the party. On the day of the accident, she danced and sang Katy Perry's ROAR as loud as possible as the rest of my squad cheered her on.
I had never lost someone that I had spent so much time with before. It was a hurt that I would not wish on anyone. My squad and I had to figure out how to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and try our best to cheer loud and proud for our number one cheerleader. Her absence was always present and we no longer cheered just for ourselves. We never stopped looking up to Kathleen, we just had to look a little higher.
The second, Mr. Gillespe, my study hall teacher was hit on his motorcycle pulling out of my school parking lot. My history teacher gave him CPR but he did not make it. He was much more than a study hall teacher to his students. He would have daily quotes on the board and quiz us on trivia. He would have an endless amount of riddles for us to solve whenever we were up for it. He survived two tours in Afghanistan and passed away in my very home town.
My classmates filled his desk with flowers and wore Cardinal shirts to his wake, showing we would always be on his team.
The third, Natalie Timm, passed away the week before my senior homecoming. She went to school with me for most of my life. We cheered together in middle school and bonded over our love of cookie dough, who really cooks the dough anyway. Her passing brought back memories of the previous two. But just being used to a broken heart, doesn't make it easier the third time around. I missed her contagious smile and her will to never give up. I could always count on her to be my friend when I needed one. She was supposed to graduate with my class and me. She was supposed to go off to the school of her dreams and we were supposed to have more pool days and movie nights.
The loss never really goes away. It may fade but it will always come back when you least expect it. The hurt you feel from a loss of a friend is unlike anything else. I cried more than I ever had before and my heart was never going to fully heal.
On the anniversary of Natalie's passing, I was at the school of my dreams without those from my hometown. No one knew what this day meant to me and I couldn't expect them to.
It got me thinking how you never know what someone is going through. You never know what an average Wednesday can mean to someone. Which is why you should spread joy everywhere you go. Smile at those you pass instead of looking down at your phone. Do whatever you can to make sure no one ever feels alone. The smallest bit of kindness can turn someone's day around.
Be conscious that you really don't have tomorrow promised to you. So say what you want to say and tell those you love that you love them.
And smile a little extra.
