When You Have Nothing Nice To Say

When You Have Nothing Nice To Say

The day I called my kid a bad word.

We have all been told by our parents, neighbors, and teachers, if you don't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all. This has been a pretty easy rule to abide by. Most of us have filters that tend to help out when unnecessary or unwanted words want to slip out of our mouths. Let me tell you though, this rule sucks when you have kids.

The other day, my almost 3-year-old took it upon herself to take a bright red crayon to our pale gray walls. That's right, red crayon on a gray wall. It stuck out like a sore thumb and was at least five feet long on one wall. That's when everything went downhill. My filter took a vacation and before I had a chance to catch it, I called her a name I wished I hadn't. I called her a butt hole.

I’m crazy, but not that crazy. This really is a big deal. Kids are very intuitive and they learn things quicker than you could imagine. Right now is the prime time to work on letters, colors, shapes and numbers. There's a reason why Dora is such an influential show. Kids at this age can learn and adapt to foreign languages pretty easily. Kids go from not knowing a single word to knowing every word you don’t want them to know, in a matter of days. So, I called my toddler a butt hole. I'm waiting for it to come back and bite me. She’s going to repeat it and it’s only a matter of time. I’m waiting for the church teacher to pull me aside, in a few weeks, and give me a guilt trip about this particular word. After all, more than likely, my kid’s filter probably won’t stop the word from coming out in Sunday school.

In the few minutes after the “bad word” came out, I didn’t feel any remorse. In fact, no emotion of the sort came until after I was already in bed for the night. It hit me like a ton of bricks crashing over me like waves. I genuinely felt bad. She didn’t understand what butt hole meant. She still doesn’t understand. She understood when I said it, that it was a new word, and that the new word meant something bad.

She’s recovered. There won’t be any therapy sessions or social workers at our house. She isn’t going to be traumatized. There will be no nightmares over this whole fiasco. Hopefully, she’s already forgotten the whole incident. My luck, she really is going to repeat it at the most inopportune moment. When it happens, I’m not sure if I will laugh or if I will be mortified. Of course I have beaten myself silly over the word. Butt hole- it’s only letters long yet I am offended by all eight letters.

As soon as I said out loud that I was mad at myself for calling her a name, I realized how incredibly ridiculous that sounded. Did I mean to call her that? Yes. Could I have picked a better word? Absolutely. Yet, why are we all so offended to tell the truth? Everyone is offended by everything. Don’t dare go on Facebook and post a different opinion about something. You’ll be blasted, get death threats and will possibly not feel safe walking outside your home.

I want my kids to know when I’m mad. I want them to know where the line is. There is no reason parents should walk on egg shells to not offend their kids. I’m not justifying that you can drop a few four and five letter words every time you’re mad at your 3-year-old, I’m saying if your kid is being a butt hole, let them know. Maybe even try the gentle parenting approach, and say, “Hey, I really don’t appreciate how you’re acting right now, maybe take it down a notch.” However, if it doesn’t work, and you accidentally call your kid a butt hole, you’re going to be okay.

So when you have nothing nice to say, maybe it’s because there really isn’t a nice way to say what you’re thinking. It’s not going to kill you to call your kid a butt hole. It’s not going to kill you to sit down and realize that your 3-year-old might just be the devil. If calling your kid a not so nice name is the worst thing that happens to you today, you should chalk that up to being a great day.

Cover Image Credit: Citra Pramadi; Flickr Commons

Popular Right Now

College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Your Health Journey Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint

Perfection takes time.


When you first start to do something, you have all of the motivation in the world to accomplish that goal set out in front of you, especially when it comes to being healthier. The problem is as you continue through this journey and food and laziness kick in, motivation slips. It's human, and it happens to everyone no matter how physically strong they are.

Trying to be healthier doesn't always mean losing weight. It can be so your knees don't ache as much, so you don't feel as out of breath climbing stairs, or any goal you have set for yourself. Being healthier is personal and different from person to person.

I will be the first to admit that there are plenty of changes I would love to make about myself. From my weight to my body type and many other things about myself inside and out. I am by no means the most confident person about how I look, but I have worked hard for the past year to be an overall healthier person.

Becoming healthier isn't about looking thinner or fitting into a specific size of clothes. It is about taking care of yourself from eating better to working out more. There comes a feeling of confidence in what your body can do if you put a little love in it.

Perfection takes time, and I know firsthand how frustrating trying to be healthier can be.

Pizza tastes so much better than salad. It is so easy to fall into a rhythm of something that seems never to change whether that is your weight or your mile time. Sadly, you can't build a city, or become healthier overnight.

We see people who are thinner, curvier, smarter, faster, and so much more than us. We all waste time comparing ourselves to people around us and on our timelines, but some of our biggest strengths are our individuality and the gift of getting back up after falling down.

All I can say is, please don't give up on your goal of being healthier because this is solely for you. We can have a great support system in the world and have everyone in our corner, but that isn't enough.

You need yourself. You need to know that if you don't entirely put yourself in this journey, then you won't fully succeed. Your commitment to bettering yourself can keep you going even if you want to give up.

Your motivation may not be at its peak level right now, and you may have every cell in your body screaming at you to quit. Don't do it. Prove to yourself that you can keep going no matter what. Not giving up will be worth it. The results and taking the hard way will make you a stronger person inside and out.

You can do this. You can do anything you want to accomplish if you just believe in yourself. You need to understand that becoming healthier takes endurance. There will be periods where you slow down and may not be going at your fastest pace. The difference is that you are not giving up and you are still trying and moving.

Don't treat becoming healthier as a sprint: short term and quick. That mentality will only leave you feeling deflated and defeated. It is a life-long marathon of pacing yourself and pushing yourself further than ever before.

Related Content

Facebook Comments