When You Have Nothing Nice To Say

When You Have Nothing Nice To Say

The day I called my kid a bad word.
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We have all been told by our parents, neighbors, and teachers, if you don't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all. This has been a pretty easy rule to abide by. Most of us have filters that tend to help out when unnecessary or unwanted words want to slip out of our mouths. Let me tell you though, this rule sucks when you have kids.

The other day, my almost 3-year-old took it upon herself to take a bright red crayon to our pale gray walls. That's right, red crayon on a gray wall. It stuck out like a sore thumb and was at least five feet long on one wall. That's when everything went downhill. My filter took a vacation and before I had a chance to catch it, I called her a name I wished I hadn't. I called her a butt hole.

I’m crazy, but not that crazy. This really is a big deal. Kids are very intuitive and they learn things quicker than you could imagine. Right now is the prime time to work on letters, colors, shapes and numbers. There's a reason why Dora is such an influential show. Kids at this age can learn and adapt to foreign languages pretty easily. Kids go from not knowing a single word to knowing every word you don’t want them to know, in a matter of days. So, I called my toddler a butt hole. I'm waiting for it to come back and bite me. She’s going to repeat it and it’s only a matter of time. I’m waiting for the church teacher to pull me aside, in a few weeks, and give me a guilt trip about this particular word. After all, more than likely, my kid’s filter probably won’t stop the word from coming out in Sunday school.

In the few minutes after the “bad word” came out, I didn’t feel any remorse. In fact, no emotion of the sort came until after I was already in bed for the night. It hit me like a ton of bricks crashing over me like waves. I genuinely felt bad. She didn’t understand what butt hole meant. She still doesn’t understand. She understood when I said it, that it was a new word, and that the new word meant something bad.

She’s recovered. There won’t be any therapy sessions or social workers at our house. She isn’t going to be traumatized. There will be no nightmares over this whole fiasco. Hopefully, she’s already forgotten the whole incident. My luck, she really is going to repeat it at the most inopportune moment. When it happens, I’m not sure if I will laugh or if I will be mortified. Of course I have beaten myself silly over the word. Butt hole- it’s only letters long yet I am offended by all eight letters.

As soon as I said out loud that I was mad at myself for calling her a name, I realized how incredibly ridiculous that sounded. Did I mean to call her that? Yes. Could I have picked a better word? Absolutely. Yet, why are we all so offended to tell the truth? Everyone is offended by everything. Don’t dare go on Facebook and post a different opinion about something. You’ll be blasted, get death threats and will possibly not feel safe walking outside your home.

I want my kids to know when I’m mad. I want them to know where the line is. There is no reason parents should walk on egg shells to not offend their kids. I’m not justifying that you can drop a few four and five letter words every time you’re mad at your 3-year-old, I’m saying if your kid is being a butt hole, let them know. Maybe even try the gentle parenting approach, and say, “Hey, I really don’t appreciate how you’re acting right now, maybe take it down a notch.” However, if it doesn’t work, and you accidentally call your kid a butt hole, you’re going to be okay.

So when you have nothing nice to say, maybe it’s because there really isn’t a nice way to say what you’re thinking. It’s not going to kill you to call your kid a butt hole. It’s not going to kill you to sit down and realize that your 3-year-old might just be the devil. If calling your kid a not so nice name is the worst thing that happens to you today, you should chalk that up to being a great day.

Cover Image Credit: Citra Pramadi; Flickr Commons

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

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The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

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Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

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...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

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Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Drink lots of water.

This one is a no-brainer, but it can be hard to do sometimes. I know when I'm sick, I definitely don't think about it. Water can help flush toxins out of your body, makes you hydrated, and can help you feel more awake and energized! If you're not a huge water drinker like I am, Tea also helps.

Stay home.

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Rest.

This one goes with the last point, but sleeping will help your immune system fight off any infections. It's good to take some time off and get any extra sleep you can.

Clean everything.

I like to wash all of my clothes and bed sheet, because they're what I wear and touch the most, especially my pillow cases. This will help get rid of some germs and stop them from spreading. It's also good to disinfect anything you touch often, like doorknobs and table surfaces.

Take medicine.

This one also sounds like a no brainer, but seriously if you expect to feel better soon you should be taking some sort of medicine. At the very least, it'll help with your symptoms, so you're not couching or sneezing every couple minutes.

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