Every relationship starts out the same, you can't get enough of each other, everything seems picture perfect to you. You want to spend every second of the day with your partner.
Relationships are like a bouquet of flowers, you try everything in your power to keep them alive but after a while it's impossible to save them. After constant fighting sometimes its time to just give up and move on. When you finally throw the flowers out you feel sad because something that was once so beautiful is now wilted and dead, nothing hurts more than letting go of the one you love because they changed into a person that you no longer know. You sit here trying to hold back tears (or sometimes just letting them flow out of you) and wondering what you did wrong to have them change into something that you never thought they would be.
In the beginning of a relationship you're that bouquet of flowers, you're so different and fit perfectly together that it almost feels unreal that you found someone who finally understands you and accepts you for who you are. He spoils you like you've never been spoiled before, not just with gifts but with affection and love. The word beautiful is in his everyday vocabulary, and he makes you feel so good about yourself and make you feel like the only princess. He goes out of his way to get your favorite drink from Starbucks (even when he prefers another coffee chain) or drives an hour and a half on a Friday night after work just to see you. The word forever sounds perfect to you because it came out of his mouth.
Then one day you wake up and everything stops, you stop hearing the word beautiful, the compliments are no longer there and he doesn’t know how to make you feel good about yourself anymore. You suggest doing something and it turns into a no because "it's not what he wants to do", although you'd do anything for him even if it meant walking around his favorite store (that you hate). You ask him to hang out with your friends and family but it’s also a no because he wanted to do something with his friends and family. What happened to the person he used to be?
He changed into someone you no longer know. He works a full-time job, and would rather work a Saturday than come and spend time with you, and when he does see you all he wants to do is sleep because he overworks his body all the time, and the frustration gets to you and you constantly pick fights because you’re not being treated like a girlfriend anymore. The 30 minute long phone calls turn into a "hey I just got home I have to shower eat dinner and get ready to go out, I’ll call you when I’m leaving" but you don't hear from him until you text him an hour later to see if he's alive, and you get an “I’m sorry I forgot”. I'm a firm believer in separating your relationship from your friendships but not when you forget about your girlfriend when you're with your friends.
Too many guys these days feel like they're too cool to have girlfriends when their "boys" don't. They see what it's like to be single and that they have no one to cater too, they have no one to call when they want to go out, no one checking up on them. When did we let our friends decide our relationship status for us?
You have to fight for the attention from him like it's your full-time job, which is not fair at all especially when you're there for him all day as soon as he needs you, it drives you up a wall because you never had to fight for his attention; in fact he sometimes gave you too much attention.
After a while it turns into something you don’t want to be a part of anymore and you bring it up multiple times and he says he knows he is treating you badly and things are going to change, they change for about a week and then you’re back where it all started, alone at night wondering what he is doing, what he is saying to his friends, and who he is giving all the attention too. You also sit here and wonder if this is his way of pushing you away that way you break up with him that way he doesn’t get blamed for the heartbreak. What he doesn’t understand is that it would have been a lot easier if he would have just broken up with you rather than pushed you away.
The pain is worse now than it did while you were together thinking about him because everything was perfect and you wonder “what the hell happened” to him, why did he turn into a different person in the relationship, most relationships start out where he has no idea what he is doing and as the relationship blooms things get better. He started out amazing and ended where he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend, he didn’t know how to make you feel special on regular days, your birthday, or the days where you just needed to be with him because you missed him. The words ‘I love you” don’t mean anything to him anymore because he only said it when you said it first and he often times didn’t know what it meant to really love someone.
You question your relationship if it was real or if it was just because he was lonely and wanted to call something his for once. You wonder how long he was “faking” your relationship for.
All you can do is thank him for the person he turned you into, at the end of it all you changed too, you take care of yourself because now it’s time to date yourself to find who you are again, you focus on your friendship with your girlfriends (who have been with you through every step of the way) you know exactly what you deserve in life and what you don’t deserve. You have your heart guarded for the next one because you’re just not ready for something to break your heart, a heart can only take so many cracks before you turn into a bitter person.
You were a beautiful fully bloomed flower before he picked you and although you are withered now with a good amount of sunlight and water soon you’ll be standing taller than any other flower in the garden.
