​When The Guy You Want Is Not The Man You Need
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Relationships

​When The Guy You Want Is Not The Man You Need

To the girls looking for a sign to let him go.

654
​When The Guy You Want Is Not The Man You Need

As women, we love, love. Think about it, for the majority of our lives we've spent countless hours watching movies about girls that stumbled upon their perfect guys, had one amazing kiss, and then lived happily ever after. As fabulous as that sounds and may be, that is not always a reality. Sometimes what started as the perfect relationship may end up draining you and not end well at all. This is for all the women looking for a sign to let him go...

What is Love Exactly?

Love is not just cuddling on the sofa on a cold night or being with a person because you've been with them so long. Love is selfless, wanting the best for your partner, unwavering loyalty, and trust. Love is being a motivational force in your partner's life that not only picks them up when they fall, but also keeps them on the right track. Love is caring for that person when they're sick and cherishing the silent moments together. You can love someone all day long but if that person doesn't love you back, the relationship will not and should not last. Which brings the question that I often ask someone dealing with a sour relationship, Are you staying with him because you love him or do you stick around because you love the idea of him. Love and the idea of love are two totally different things. If your man cheats on you, takes advantage of you, and treats like an option, yet you don't want to leave him because you're used to him or do feel like dating anyone else, then maybe the person with the biggest issue with love is you. The love between two people should be reciprocated and never questioned.

Accept What Is

If someone loves you they will not only tell you, but also show you. Anyone can promise you the world but what you’re looking for is someone that shows you consistency, loyalty, and love through his actions. Someone that truly values and loves will do anything to keep you and would never jeopardize losing you. Now, I’m not saying that you will have a perfect relationship with no arguments but that person will work with you, compromise with you, and grow with you. It’s time to stop looking for just an attractive guy or holding on to the guy that hurts you all the time. Now is the time for you to open your heart for an upstanding man. You’re a beautiful, strong, and amazing woman so get you a man that will not only compliment that, but also uplift you. Don't lower yourself to his standards or continue to tolerate his lies just because you love him or are comfortable with him. It's time you take a step back and love yourself. Your "better half" should never drain or abuse you. Set the tone, put some boundaries, and stand up for yourself.


Tell Him "Boy Bye"

Just think about it, if he knows he can lie, disrespect, and play you and you will always take him back, he will always treat you that way. Put your big girl panties on and realize that people will treat how you allow them to. That goes for boyfriend, fiancé, husband, and even strangers. If you have a problem with something then you need to state it.You have boundaries with friendships, so what makes you think a relationship should be a free for all? If you know these bad behaviors and unacceptable situations are a part of who he is, then you need to walk away and leave him alone for good. Stop making excuses for him, stop falling for his sob stories, and start to accept that every second you waste with the wrong guy is taken away your opportunities of actually being with a good one. Every woman on the planet has a breaking point, so before you damage your self-esteem or end up on Snapped, you have to let that bad energy go. If that means you have to delete him from point of contact then so be it. Call Tyrone, Ms. Cleo, Mike Jones or even phone a friend. I don’t care who you want to call, just don’t call him.

Free Yourself

When someone wants to walk out of your life, please, by all means do not stop them.Lock the door behind them, learn the lesson, and keep it moving. Though it can be the hardest reality check in the world, you have to let go of what was and accept what is. I know of so many amazing women that let their boyfriends treat them like toys. They will be good to them for a while, treat them well and before you know it, they want to go back to their single ways. No worries, he will be back later and claim to love you. Does that really make sense to you or sound like a healthy relationship? Love doesn’t hurt you or play mind games. Love is not part-time. If a man conveniently comes around you for a good time, to help pay his bills, to have place to lay his head, or occupy his time then that man has no love for you at all. Stop settling for less and free yourself of that person that is only making you an option. Just because you accepted unhealthy actions for a long period of time, it doesn't mean you have to continue. Let go and let God. Let go off that toxic relationship and keep your chin up. Don't look at your breakup as just an ending. Realize that closing this chapter only starts a fresh new one and the possibilities are endless. Take the time and love you've selflessly given to him and put it into yourself.You deserve only the best.

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    This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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