During the summer, most of your friends disappear into full-time jobs or vacations miles away. Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean that you can always get a break from the twists and turns of life. There will come a time when you need to eventually face that your support systems, whether it be family, a friend, or even your dog, will not always be there for you when you need them. Of course, it’s important to have these people around you for help, but you cannot crash down harder than you would have without them. What we all need to start doing is loving ourselves more than we have before, because you will always be there for you.
We cannot blame others for not always being there when we need them, even if that is what we expect from them. When I was growing up, I was always told by people, “I will always be there for you.” Then the time comes where it is four in the morning and you can’t handle the weight of the world anymore. There’s no guarantee that someone, no matter how much they care about you, will always be at the ready to talk you down. The issue is that nobody has taught us what to do when you really are on your own.
I was always encouraged to reach out to others when I need help, but why has nobody ever told me that I can be the help I need. Some of us who grow up struggling a little more than most are often referred to someone who we can talk to, such as a therapist or family. What I have learned throughout the many years of searching for help is that I can be my own support system. It sounds ridiculous to think of yourself as self-support and it may not always be easy, but who knows what you need better than yourself? Going through life depending on others for your well-being will ultimately pull you down harder than you can handle when nobody it around.
When we hear online about self-love or self-care, we often refer to physical health or appearance and eating the right foods. What we miss in that memo is how to actually care for ourselves, especially in a time of crisis. We need to learn how to identify our highs and lows and how to handle those. Use others as a model for what helps you best and mimic that, no matter how odd it may feel at first. If you usually talk to someone about what’s really bothering you, just talk to yourself out loud and think of what you want to hear back. Make a plan to treat yourself with love and attention when nobody is by your side, because at the end of the day, all you have is you.
If all else fails, drive your butt to the closest Cumbies and buy yourself that pint of Ben & Jerry’s. You know it will heal you, at least for the moment.
