Today I woke up and the sun was shining through my window. I checked the weather so I could get dressed for the day and proceeded to get ready. I open up Facebook to see what was going on and all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. Today is April 26. Today, three years ago, someone I loved very much passed away. Three years ago my world was rocked in an unexpected way and life as I knew it was about to change.

Michael Kelley (or PK as the youth groupers called him) was a man loved by all who ever had the pleasure of meeting him. Those who were close to him knew he loved being a youth pastor and serving the Lord. He loved his family (both by blood and church) quad-riding, Great Danes, apple pie, the Steelers, playing ultimate Frisbee and hanging out with teenagers. And that is how I will remember him until I see him again. Until then I will continue to miss him and wonder why God took him home when he did and how my life would be if he were still around.

For me, death is something I am very familiar with. I have been to more funerals than I would have ever liked to go to, each one as heartbreaking as the others. Saying goodbye to people never really gets any easier, neither does missing them. I know that I will see him again in heaven and until that day I keep him alive in memories. On days when life is hard or I have questions about theology from my classes, I want to be able to call him and just talk.

Heaven can feel far away when someone you love is there. Because we can't talk to them or do anything with them, it feels like they are really gone forever. It's OK to miss people. It's OK to cry when you miss them a lot or even just a little. It's OK to cry on the anniversary of their death and it's OK to talk about them. When heaven feels far away, those who are grieving can take solace in knowing that Jesus is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). When heaven feels far away just remember that this pain is only for a season and it will not last.

Today is a difficult day for myself and many others. It is very easy during a period of grief to question the faithfulness of God. It is easy to question the plans he has for your life and it is very easy to walk away from God when our heart is wrecked by grief rather than to let him heal our brokenness with his perfect love.

If you are walking through the valley of grief, know that you are not alone. As much as you probably hate to hear it, time really does heal all wounds. Heaven feels far away but God is very close to you. I promise.