Recently, I got some extremely disappointing news. All students can relate to this kind of disappointment; whether it be not gaining admission to their dream school, not getting the scholarship they need, or not earning the kind of grades they worked so hard to achieve.
For me, the disappointment was not getting the job I wanted so badly. I envisioned myself in this new job next year on campus. The job is (was) perfect for me; a 5-minute walk from my apartment, goes hand-in-hand with my major, a few steps up from the deli I worked in this past year.
Part of what made this news so crushing was that I didn't prepare myself, even for a moment, that I might not get the job; that I would need to potentially look for another one. Since most of us aren't super great at preparing for disappointment, here is my list of what to do when it hits.
1. Don't act out of spite:
Literally, before I'd even finished reading the email telling me I didn't get the job, I went straight to my University's job search site. I felt angry and hurt and it was like I wanted to scream in everyone's face "I DON'T CARE! I'LL JUST FIND A BETTER JOB!" Well, I opened the page and before I could even click on anything, I started weeping, which brings me to my next point...
2. Take the time to grieve:
All people tend to fantasize about their dreams and play out in their minds how they would love for them to happen. We develop an attachment to this dream like we would any memento, pet, somtimes even person. As dramatic as this may sound, you need to take the time to grieve this dream as if it died; because, in a way, it did.
3. Look to your yoke-fellows:
Yoke-fellows are the people who you depend on and who also depend on you. Instead of bottling up all the anger, sadness, and confusion, share these feelings with your people and ask for their help. Ask them to pray that God gives you peace about this situation you don't have control over. Pray that God opens up other opportunities for your life and maybe even show you why His plan is different than yours.
Vent! These are the people who will love you no matter how long and aggressively you need to talk/scream about what you're dealing with. Not only will they be great at acting angry and supportive when you just need to hit something, but they'll also be there to help you see the bright side when you're ready for that.
4. Distract yourself:
This goes well with the grieving process. Take a few days or so to relax and not think about what made you so upset. Hang out with your fellows, read that book you've been meaning to, go for a run, sleep, whatever the heck you want. This is a crucial, yet sensitive stage of dealing with disappointment. You need to step away for a bit, but you can't stay here and ignore the realities of your life forever.
5. Move on:
In my current situation, I have yet to do this. This final step, for my circumstance, will look like what it did the day I found out I didn't get the job. I'll go online and try to find something else, except this time, I won't be doing so with an angry heart.
I know that very soon I'll be ready to move on and find other opportunities, but I don't know exactly how many; there is no special number of days or hours that is applicable to everyone. It's a feeling. Everyone will take different amounts of time for each step; that is expected and okay, unless this hinders you from moving on.
Crushing disappointment comes in some form and at some time in every person's life. From my experience, the tips I've shared with you are good examples of how to walk through your low points in life while still preparing yourself for the path up and out. Life is filled with peaks and troughs and the best thing we can do is learn to trod with grace on whatever terrain we may find ourselves in.
