Panic attacks are terrifying and quite disorienting to say the least. They happen when we least expect them to, and that's what makes them more unnerving. If you have experienced a panic attack, then I hope some of these thoughts and images resonate with you - because these are the emotions and experiences I have endured when passing through these anxiety-ridden roller coasters. I want you to know that while these occurrences are intense and scary, you are certainly not alone.
Though it is unfortunate that around 6 million people in the world have to undergo these panic attacks, it is also somewhat comforting in acknowledging the fact that there is someone else passing through.
You're underwater, and you feel like you can't breathe. There is literally a sensation of feeling like you are chocking on water, that continuously seeps into your lungs. It's unbearable.
The shaking begins, and it sends you down a tunnel of sweats that won't seem to leave your body, and at the same time, you are on sensory overload from everything happening all at once, and that causes you to panic even more.
Your heart is palpitating so quickly that you feel as though it is going to bust through your chest - and that makes the panic that much worse.
You feel like throwing up, and you are overcome with dizziness that seems like it will go on forever. There is no control in that moment. The fact that it seems like you have no control of your thoughts or your body, sends you into a deeper whirlwind of anxiety.
This one resonates with me a lot: you feel desperate, that sense of
dread and utter depersonalization, claustrophobia and paranoia.
You feel like you are dying, and at times, the lights in the room, or wherever you are, feel as if they are dimming and it's getting dark - or the colors around you are fading inwards.
It feels the worst when it happens all of a sudden, and you don't tell anyone that it's happening. Having to hide a panic attack is one of the scariest situations to experience. You feel stuck to your chair. You literally can't move.
If it's in a public place, you feel as though everyone in the world is out to get you, and that's even if you are able to acknowledge the fact that you are surrounded by lots of strangers. You feel unbearably alone in that moment.
Your whole entire body is electrified with pins and needles, and then it goes numb after awhile, making it that much more difficult to gain control over the situation . . . anxiety ensues.
Afterwards . . .
You feel ashamed - but relieved . . . and you catch your breath, and are overwhelmed with the grateful awareness that you are finally okay. It literally feels like you have come up for air after being under for too long. In that moment, you soak up all of your surroundings and remember that you were right - it doesn't last forever.
And for a moment, elongating into a million seconds - you feel incredibly strong.
