We as society members and as friends and family members must recognize the pervasiveness of sexism and how it relates to body image. We must recognize thin privilege and fat oppression, especially when we talk about women's bodies despite the fact that these systems apply to all bodies. Check yourself before you wreck yourself with ignorant speech. Recognize that the way we have conversations about health and beauty does not address the complexities of the human experience.
Having forcefully gotten the ball rolling, here are some examples of things that you should never say to your fat friend, family member, acquaintance, etc. They might not be intended as harmful, but it's important to realize the damage that they can. and most likely do, cause.
1. "You're not fat!"
Here are the problems that I have with this statement. First of all, do you have eyes? Tactile perception if you don't happen to have eyes? I am fat. Second of all, stop using fat as a derogatory word. Of course, some fat people aren't comfortable with the word because of associated trauma and shame. I'm still not totally comfortable with it because it comes with a lot of emotional weight and mental health struggles, but it is a self-descriptor.
2. "But you have such a pretty face!"
Thank you, I do have a pretty face. You are also implying with this back-handed compliment that the rest of me is inadequate, but at least my face is nice. You are implying that people, such as yourself, can focus on my pretty face in order to ignore my fat body.
3. "Are you sure you want to eat that?"
Fat people can't eat anything without someone making a comment about it. If I eat pizza, then someone goes, "oh, that's why you're fat." If I eat a salad, then someone goes, "oh, you must be trying to lose weight." We can't win. We can't do anything without it being someone else's business.
4. "You shouldn't wear this/that. It's not flattering for your body type."
I could write a separate article about this one (and now I probably will). Fat people, especially fat women, are told that their bodies are not allowed to wear certain types of clothing. Excuse you. Do not, under any circumstances, tell me what to wear. I will wear a bikini, a crop top, leggings, a tight shirt, etc. if I want to and feel comfortable and confident doing so. Do not demonize my fat body.
5. "You would be so pretty if you lost weight."
And you would be someone I enjoyed talking to if only you weren't such an asshole.
6. "Don't you worry about your health?"
Whether or not I am having health issues is none of your business. I also didn't ask for your input. Also, fatness does not equal poor health. Don't just make assumptions about someone's life because they're fat. Keep your concerns because they're loaded with fatphobia, and I don't need that.
