I know you have your life together, but you keep overworking yourself and creating more issues inside your mind that aren’t even real. Stop being so nice to everyone who has treated you so dirty, then wondering why you feel trapped in some friendships. Stop giving so many chances - that is how everyone knows that they can mess up and you’ll just take them back.
Can you please stop putting yourself down so much? I will never understand why you put yourself down every single day. You have a heart of gold and treat everyone amazingly. Why are you hurting yourself? Wouldn't these people be hurting themselves over you? I know you don’t like the way your eyes squint when you laugh, and you don’t like making eye contact with people. I know you think you are what those people made fun of you for, but you aren’t. You are so much more than what those words are and I hope that one day you can see that.
Stop letting the words that your so-called “friend” said about you eat you alive. It is okay to feel anxious and scared about being yourself in college, please stop thinking that you do not belong there. I need you to show everyone that you can do this, even through all the battles you have fought - you can do this. Stop telling yourself every morning that you aren’t good enough to do something - you are more than enough. Please, just buy that shirt you’ve been looking at for 30 minutes online. I promise you will look amazing in it, do not let the judgement of others stop you.
If you like being alone sometimes, don’t apologize to your friends. They should understand. If you like that music, blast it. Sing it until your lungs give out. Stop letting people fill your mind with negativity and start letting positive people fill it up. You need to breathe, please. You are trying to grow up way too fast. Stop closing people out, they are just trying to help you.
Your past damage has destroyed you in so many ways. And I hope one day you can try hard to not let it bother your life and daily tasks. I hope one day you can go to bed and not be afraid to wake up in fear that the moment you wake up, your day will be awful. I hope you can actually get some sleep soon, because I think that is your main issue. Please stop letting people walk all over you—it is not your fault that they are treating you awfully. Stop apologizing for getting people's shoes dirty when they walked all over your heart.
When you see yourself in the mirror, I hope one day you can smile and truly love yourself for who you are. I just hope that these “one day” statements can help you, and you will be able to live them. You deserve to be given the treatment you give others, so please wake up. I love you, but you can’t do this to yourself anymore.
Love,
The Person Who Needs To Love Herself
