Here’s the deal; you mean a lot to me. You say I mean a lot to you as well. For this to be completely true there is something you need to understand: I am fully aware of how complicated I can be.

I have a lot going through my head almost every second of every day. Sometimes there are good things and other times there are bad, and there is never a way to tell when which will be happening. It is such a difficult thing to deal with for everyone involved.

I’m sorry for being such a stressful part of your life. I am sorry I can be so happy and cheery on some days and then can get worked up so easily on others. If I could control it I really would make it go away.

I would flip the anxiety switch from on to off in a heartbeat if that was how it worked. It would not only make life easier or me, but also for you.

And I’m sorry that it can’t be.

I love you with everything I have; and trust me, that is a lot. I have so much emotion and passion for you that you will never feel unloved. I give my all when it comes to just about anything that has to do with you; cute notes, presents, even cuddling.

I am fueled with motivation to make you as happy as you can be. It can just be difficult sometimes when I am hurt or alone. I have come a long way when it comes to my anxiety. I have found ways to calm myself down in certain situations, I have found worth in myself that I couldn’t see before, and have learned to be more independent when it comes to fixing my own issues.

However, I am not perfect and may fall back on you to put me back together when I am falling apart. There are many downsides to my mental illness that are very inconvenient, but that’s who I am. That’s what makes me…me. And I’m awesome.

I have accepted myself for the way I am. I hope you can, too.