To the boy who loves me next,

Hi. My name is Paige, and it's really nice to meet you. I've been waiting quite some time to meet you. I've spent the last nineteen years wondering what it would be like to finally introduce myself to you.

But before you begin loving me, there are some things you must know. Things that have happened, things about me, things that you might not know yet.

I guess first things first. I can be a handful at times. I have a temper and I am stubborn. I can be one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet. I am not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be. I have made my fair share of mistakes and I wish I could go back and change a lot of things in my life. I have a handful of moments, maybe even more, that I would correct if I could. Please love me for my past, please accept me as I am now, and be excited for the future me.

I have a tendency to speak my mind a little too much. I find it kind of hard to hold in what I want to be said, and sometimes that gets me into a little bit of trouble. I get jealous VERY easily. I am working on that. I am insecure. Please understand when I change my outfit ten times because I feel bad or take too long doing makeup.

I like to do things my own way and often times if I have my mind set on something, I'll do it regardless of what anyone says. I'm very hard-headed when it comes to certain things, I like things to be a certain way and I can be very obsessive-compulsive at times. Please don't be upset by this, I am working on being less stubborn and being more open to new things.

I am my own person. I have been abused, lied to, cheated on. While I would love for you to meet who I was before all of this happened, I can't. I can only make you see who I am now, and that is someone I am starting to become proud of. I am becoming stronger and stronger every day.

I have had bad things happen to me that sometimes make it hard for me to breathe. I have experienced death, heartache, and loss. I know the inside of a funeral home and the look of sympathy followed by "I'm sorry for your loss" more than any eighteen-year-old ever should. Sometimes, these things that have happened make me closed off and sad. Please understand that I just need you to hold me and love me through these days.

I am a huge romantic and I have my days. Sometimes, I just want to be left alone and other days I will smother you with affections. I have my moments, both bad and good. My family is my everything. I have an obsession with dogs and I love to have the AUX cord. I take too many pictures and videos, but that is because I like to see you and have memories to look on and laugh at. I want to go on adventures. Sometimes I get bored and randomly do my makeup. I love being tagged in things and small things like having pictures or tweets posted. I have quirks and flaws and imperfections. And if you choose to love me, you will love ALL of that too.

I don't require a lot of things. I don't need you to go and spend a hundred dollars on a dinner. I am perfectly happy staying in, cuddling and watching Netflix or doing one of my favorite things in the world, driving around and listening to music. Maybe even stopping and getting out on the hood and looking at the stars. I'm easy to please when it comes to that.

I want a connection. A deep one that consumes me and moves me. I want to be able to talk about anything, no pressure or awkwardness. But I also want to be able to sit in silence. I like to spend a lot of time with those whom I love, so please be prepared for me always wanting to be with you.

But while I am fairly flawed, I can tell you this. I will love you harder than anyone you have ever met. I have a huge heart that I don't show all the time. I know what it's like to be broken and scratched, so I'll kiss your scars and bandage your heart. I will show you what it's like to be really loved.

I will care, and I will make sure you know. I am honest and I am real. I give and give until I am red in the face and sweating. My love for those I care about is all consuming, and I can promise you that not a moment will go by that you don't know how much I adore you and want and need you to have your happiness. I have a deep passion for people, and it goes unnoticed often.

I have a hard time trusting people because of the pain I have been through. I will question a lot of things. Please don't lie and please be honest with me. I may be upset but I will respect that you love me enough to tell me the truth. Please be gentle and understanding with this, as it will take me time to let down my walls with you and fully let you in. I have given my heart and body to people who do not deserve it. But I promise, once that happens, it will be worth it.

Right now, at this moment in my life, I am broken and not okay. "Hold onto me, because I'm a little unsteady." But I am becoming my own superhero and putting myself together again. I just need you to be there for me. Be there for me at 2am when I call you about the incident that pissed me off at work today. Listen when I'm crying about Forrest Gump again.

I want you to be able to meet my family and have them love you. I want to grow together, and I want to build a life with you. Happiness and trust is what I wish to feel again. I deserve that. I deserve to be loved and treated right. I deserve to give someone my heart and actually have them keep it safe. I want someone to make me feel the way that I deserve. My mother always said, "Just think about how much you've loved the wrong ones, now imagine how much you'll love the right one." And I hope that is you.

I am loyal, I am real. I am cracked and put together with glue, cracked again and taped together, but I am alive and moving despite what I have been through. I feel like you'll finally be the one and my soul can say "Finally." And my heart can breathe. You will be the one I want to see, day in and day out. You'll be the one my soul reaches for and calms my thunderstorm of a mind. My solace. And for you to love me is beyond a challenge, but if you're up for it, so am I. Let's grow together. So, boy, here's to the future.