What To Do When Your Boyfriend Isn't A Feminist
Politics and Activism

What To Do When Your Boyfriend Isn't A Feminist

And no, the answer isn't to dump him (usually!)

Katy Weniger

Today, there are so many labels that people claim such as: "male," "female," "cisgender," "transgender," "straight," "gay," "millennial," "baby boomer." The list is endless. These labels oftentimes help people fit themselves into nice little boxes where they feel safe, surrounded by likeminded people.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. We met on the first day of freshman year of college. I've matured with him, he's matured with me (although our friends might say otherwise). And as a woman, I define myself as a feminist. Most—hopefully all—of my female friends would define themselves as feminists. So why doesn't my boyfriend? Boys are quick to joke about "meninism" without understanding what feminism means to females: equality and the wage gap isn't the only issue that affects women today. Our greatest obstacle—females' greatest obstacle, is the men who refuse to acknowledge what feminism truly is.

Now, this isn't to say that my boyfriend doesn't believe that women should have the same rights as men. He does; he believes that they should be paid equally and treated the same, yet he (in my opinion) has been swept up in some of the "why does everything have to have a label these days" mentality that some millennials still have. I label myself as a feminist, but he does not label himself in the same way. He questions why, if feminists believe in equality, that it's still acceptable for some women to expect men to pay for dates. And yes, when we first started dating, he paid all the time. But ask anyone and since then, the tab has evened out. In the end, he wants the best for me. He wants me to be able to make as much money as he can. He wants my rights to be represented in the political arena. He wants me to be able to feel safe walking alone at night. And he wants me to live a healthy, happy life doing whatever pleases me.

Relationships must be equal for them to work, and if you don't have the same ideals (like if he thinks you belong in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant) maybe it's time to end it. Unless of course, that's what you want. And if so, go girl! Have those babies! Do what you want. That's the basis of feminism—to get ladies the freedom to do what men have been doing for hundreds of years: whatever the bleep makes them happy. Equality is the name of the game.

Men tend to be scared of feminism, usually because they feel that their masculinity is being threatened. "I'm a man, these are things men do," is an extreme and archaic way of thinking. So ladies, educate your man! Feminists are not out to get them. Feminists just want your girlfriend to be happy, healthy, and safe. And boys, that's what you should want, too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

I was never really big on cocktails. Tequila soda is always a go-to drink for me because of its simplicity and, to be honest, lack of extra calories from mixers chock-full of sugar, chemicals, and other unknown ingredients. I like tequila, and like to be able to really savor it.

This all changed when, a couple of years ago, a friend of mine made me a margarita from scratch — no funky mixers involved — and it tasted incredible. It was light, refreshing, and complemented the tequila without overpowering it.

Keep Reading... Show less

I was blessed with thick, full hair up until my late teens. At the time, I cursed my hairiness — this was before full eyebrows became trendy or cool, and were instead a point of bullying many of my fellow full-browed teens can relate to.

Later in my 20s, hormonal stability was something I was thankful for, though a major side effect ended up being hair loss — on my head, lashes, and brows. I now find my filling in my brows on an almost daily basis. As much as I enjoy toying with and testing out different brow-filling products, it'll never be quite the same as being able to have "I woke up like this" full, Gigi Hadid-esque brows.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month, A Reminder We Need Even More In Quarantine

You're going through something brand new — that's worth talking about.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This isn't new to 2020, but oh man, if we ever needed a reminder about the importance of mental health, now is the time. With different states all over the place in regard to stay-at-home orders, phased reopenings, and a "new normal," we're experiencing conflict, fear, changes, and unknowns that can easily trigger mental struggles we already have or spark feelings we've never had before. Yes, May is always Mental Health Awareness Month, but in quarantine, that need for positive mental health is taken to a whole new level.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone is LOVING "Outer Banks," as you've probably heard. And if you haven't caught the hype for the show yet, these articles will definitely give you a taste of what you're missing.

If you already have seen and fallen in love with the teen heartthrob crew, you need to get on board with some of these theories for season two!

Keep Reading... Show less

These 11 Face Masks On Etsy Support Small Businesses While Fighting The Spread Of Coronavirus

We're staying safe as states start lifting lockdown guidelines.

I, like most people who have had the luxury of being able to stay at home during this time, haven't spent much time outdoors at all. But when I do brave the great outdoors for a walk or to get to the grocery store, you won't find me without a mask.

My family and I were lucky enough to have family friends who were sewing some and had extras to give to us, but most of my friends and loved ones outside my immediate family have had to order some (or make a makeshift one out of scarves or bandanas).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments