The definition of self-image means the way you think about yourself and your abilities or appearance. This is the simplified perception of self-image, and it truly hides the concept of the words entirely. When the words stumble across my eyes or within my voice, I always envision myself and my flaws. My self-image should be positive and uplifting but then I would be lying to myself. The definition has no emotion. It characterizes this as a good or bad way you think of yourself, yet, when you read the words closely what do really see?
When I think of myself I see someone who tries too hard to please everyone. Someone who drowns in their self-pity. Someone could have gone to an event, but their body is scarred with thousands of stretch marks that are the size of a tooth pick, arm fat jiggles, and legs are to wide to fit into stretch pants. Someone who was afraid to go to the store because their arms were too skinny; they were called anorexic and didn't want people to stare at their small figure, small chest, and thigh gap. Someone who is embarrassed of their own skin.They shouldn't have eaten that day or should have eaten more. They should have more strength to say no or said give me more. They need to run off their excessive fat or gain it immediately. They questioned their faith of how God allowed them to fall into temptation or didn't allow them to have more. Why are they questioning God now? How could they possibly come to the conclusion to blame all their problems on Him? It is not God who put the thoughts in their head or the size zero super model or the prettiest women in the world. They made the choice to listen to their demons attack them with cruel and harsh words. They are the one to blame, yet they blame other self-images because it affected their own. Why?
Media has transformed the image of a woman to make her believe her body needs to be smaller in order to be successful. The issue falls upon men as well that if they aren't handsome they aren't successful. I have countlessly been deceived by photoshop and other tools to enhance bodies. They are made into inaccurate and unattainable figures, which are then used on magazine covers, in movies, and even on live TV. And for what? To make young boys and girls aspire to be unhealthy and self-conscious about their figure? When will our self-image change to something that we look forward to looking at in the mirror? Or when I am walking down a street and feel as if all my hard work has finally paid off?
I have cried numerous times because my weight kept rising on the scale. I blamed it on stress and time. It was not just stress and time to blame, it was my actions of portion control. Weight gain is a major factor of stress, but it is also the continuous lack of exercise and control over a long period of time. I went from training as an athlete to a bum in a library all day. Maybe once a week run a mile on the treadmill and hope that I lose 20 pounds by the next morning. Why is society focused on accomplishing things in a short period of time? Why do we limit ourselves and not focus on the long run effects that will transform us as an individual? We are better than this. If society was given a mirror what would you see as its reflection? Something beautiful and astounding or something to be ashamed of?
I thought that if I continued to gain weight I would never be happy with who I am. I considered that I am my absolute best when I am a smaller size. Why am I allowing a number define my happiness? My self-image is simple, I am not proud for how I gained weight but that doesn't conclude that I am not happy with who I am, aside from my appearance. I have successfully applied myself to my studies, met my best friends, set a foundation of what I stand for.
My focus is not to present the stereotype of an overweight or underweight person, as this applied to the many individuals who have a proportioned body equivalent to these defining characteristics. The concept of self-image is how you visualize and present yourself in private and in public. So, what is your self-image?
