Growing up, I was naturally skinny. I ate whatever I wanted, and never gained a single pound — until sophomore year of high school. I "filled out" as my mother would have said. I went from a size 00 to a size 4. I was comfortable with my size, and still active and healthy, so I thought nothing of it.

The summer before college I worked two jobs - I practically lived off of Mcdonalds, Taco Bell, and dessert nachos from Buffalo Wild Wings. I started to pack on the pounds. I was never really worried about my weight, I was just happy. My first year in college, I knew the freshman 15 was a real thing, but I continued the body positive attitude I had since I was young - I drank all the beer and ate all the midnight pizza I wanted. I gained the freshman 15; heck I gained the freshman 20. I adopted the word "thick" and told myself that my newfound size 8 was nothing wrong.

Until I joined a sorority.

I don't think the fault itself is in the house, or the people in the house, it's the societal pressure to fit a certain "image" that an attractive woman - namely a sorority girl - tries to possess. Women are expected to have flat stomachs, perky boobs, a firm butt, and killer legs. When you don't fit into that stereotype, society has decided that there is something wrong with you. And sadly, I bought into that stereotype.

I had never dieted or counted calories, and none of my friends had ever done the same. When I joined a sorority, I was shocked to hear the negative body images that girls with actually perfect bodies had. The hourglass size 4 would complain that she was getting fat - or the size 0 complaining she was getting "thick" after a few Oreos. One girl told me about her "diet" which was not necessarily a "diet" as much as it was "not eating for 48 hours." One of the thinnest girls told me about how she has "accidentally" lost 15 pounds since coming to college.

I had never been around girls who had such an intense desire to make themselves thinner. I had known girls to eat healthier and work out, but never starve themselves to achieve the same results. Immediately all this negativity hit me in the worst way possible. If these beautiful girls with perfect bodies hate what they look like, what do they think of me?

With my body positivity at an all-time low - I tried everything. Dieting, counting calories, even starving myself. This just sent me into a spiral of binge eating and becoming even more unhappy. I stopped taking pictures when we went out. The crop tops hanging in my closet grew dust on them. I avoided looking in the mirror, and I stopped taking selfies because my growing double chin was so obvious.

It wasn't until I had a conversation with someone about the girls in our house who choose not to eat, just to lose weight. I realized, in this conversation, what I had been doing wrong. Was being skinny more important than being healthy?

So, I changed my lifestyle. I stopped eating whatever I wanted, and I started to put in the work. I made friends with girls in my sorority who go to the gym and eat healthily, and I chose better role models. I became a vegetarian and started being conscious about where the food I ate was from. I discovered that food is fuel, and when I changed my eating habits, I was changing my body for the better.

Joining a sorority was the best choice I ever made. I have become more confident, more involved, and I have made life-long friends. But I have also lost some of myself along the way. I lost my desire to order fast food at midnight. I lost my cravings for sweets and unhealthy food. I lost my love for Big Macs from Mcdonalds. I lost some of the weight that I was desperately trying to rid myself of.

The body negativity still exists in my sorority. My biggest revelation is the one that changed my life for the better - just because body negativity is around me, doesn't mean I have to buy into it.