My Mental Illness Looks Like This

My Mental Illness Looks Like This

One image of mental health.
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Last week, our wonderful Creator Eren wrote on what her mental illness looks like, a topic she found online. It was brave and beautiful and inspired me to do my own. I'll be honest, this isn't easy. It never is, but it's important.

So what does it look like?

Well first, it looks like me. Someone with blue/green eyes, short. Someone who came from a background of divorce, but no other serious trauma. It's started at 13 or 14 years old, when you just want to be friends and instead you're laying in bed and you say it's because "you're tired." It's accompanied by constant stream or tears or staring at the walls. It's being tangled in so much anxiety, you're gasping for air, literally and figuratively. Being frozen in place rather than a fight or flight in a panic attack. It's having these episodes over school, people or just life in general just because. It's questioning your existence. And numbing yourself any way possible. It's the life taken from you. It's the thing you want to fight through and think positive about and be okay, but it's not that simple.

But then you're happy sometimes. No more sad feelings, let's celebrate! Enjoying life with friends, staying up all night, going to parties. Let's talk to everyone because "I feel so good!!" I buy stuff I don't need and get irritated at the slightest thing going wrong. It makes me lash out. It's reckless, fun, and maybe hazardous. But it's also obsessive, though. You feel the need to check the door four times to be exact. If you mess something up, better go back. Count to make sure it adds up and make sure it's even. It means nothing bad will happen, like you or your family dying. It's the dumbest thing ever, especially when everyone's around, but it helps the anxiety, even short term is enough.

Your friends and family get it. They may not deal with it, but they're there for you. They keep you walking, talking, alive. Therapy, medication and any other healthy coping technique are godsends, but so are the people who keep you from crashing. Or maybe they rescue you when you've already crashed. You learn so much from these complex diseases, about yourself and those around you. You learn just how strong you are. It also makes mental illness real no matter who you are, where you come from, anything. It doesn't discriminate.

So how would you describe your mental illness? Why do we make it so stigmatized? Why don't we speak up?

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.

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Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.


Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.


Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

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