What My Mental Illness Looks Like
Start writing a post

I was scrolling past a Tumblr post the other day where a young girl wrote a paragraph about what “her” mental illness looked like, and I fell completely in love with it. I heard other symptoms that don’t happen to me but still felt the pain from her; she gave such raw emotion/struggle in her digital words that stopped me in my tracks. Then as I got to the end of her post, she continued to ask everyone else to post something similar to help stop the stigma against Mental Illness (which obviously made me fall in love with this post even more.)

So, I decided to do one as well in honor of all the girls/guys who did one and for all the others who were too affected by the stigma against Mental Illness to feel comfortable about writing so openly about it.

What does my mental illness look like? It looks like a lot of days spent in bed fearing talking to others, but the next day chatting up a storm with a stranger happening to be buying the same dish soap as me. Being riddled with so much anxiety that it sometimes throws my emotions into a tizzy and I lash out on the people I love. Being so angry that only throwing things/punching pillows seems to help release the feeling. Dyeing my hair some weird color, buying an expensive and unneeded item, following my emotions instead of reason because in the morning I’m riddled with dread about being alive. Going through relationship after relationship (platonic or romantic) over and over again, because my mental illness doesn’t admire stability. Crying before some workouts because my body/mind is so exhausted before I even lift up a weight. Religiously taking baths, doing face masks, drinking tea because all of these are posted on every Google search for “how do I help my anxiety.” That is what it looks like to me, but even with all of those moments, I have better ones that arise.

I spend a generous amount of time meditating my mind, stretching my body with yoga, and running past my slump with my long distance running. All the people in my life hold my head up when I need it the most, and show me so much love that I am shocked each day. I have mastered the art of communication and can openly tell others how I feel rather than bottling everything up only for it to come crashing down. I let life run around and do whatever it pleases because after years of therapy I learned that I have no control of that but only how I deal with it afterwards. Through my mental illness I’ve learned so much about the me who is no longer striving to be rid of her mental illness but the me who wants to inform others about how to live through it.

So what does your mental illness look like? Is it anything like what I described? If not, then what else could you add about the ups and down of having Mental Illness.

I would also like to end this post with marking it in dedication to a family member of mine who passed away earlier this year to suicide, we all miss you very much. Many people treat the idea of suicide so terrifying/taboo to talk about that the people suffering sometimes feel too ashamed to ask for help before making a permanent decision.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Rebecca Alvarez

Rebecca Alvarez is many things: founder, sexologist, CEO, mentor, and more — as a Latina businesswoman, each of her endeavors is grounded in the strong principles of inclusivity and diversity, especially in sexual health and wellness. Bloomi is the product of her all of her shared passions, and with it she has fostered a community of like-minded, passionate women.

Keep Reading... Show less

There is not a consistent standard for health education in the United States. There are a lot of variables that go into this — what state a student lives in, whether they go to a public or private school, and the district's funding and priorities. These variables can be argued for any subject, not just health class. But as we continue to grow as a society, hopefully bettering our education system along the way, it's crucial to consider this often-forgotten element of a child's schooling.

Keep Reading... Show less

In March, the whole country shut down. School was online, extra-curriculars were canceled, and I found myself laying in bed all day every day. One day, as I was laying in bed contemplating my laziness, I decided that I wanted to do something to make myself more healthy. I was feeling so down on myself and my laziness so I decided to make a change.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Songs That Made It Onto My September Playlist

September is the month for Los Angeles natives and Australian music fans.


The Neighbourhood, Bad Suns and The Driver Era are three Los Angeles bands that released songs this month. Not only was it a month for Los Angeles bands, but many Australian bands released new music — San Cisco's fourth studio album, Surf Trash single, Skegss single, and High Tropics single. I made new discoveries this month and was pleased by the amount of new music.

Read the listicle below to learn what came out this month in alternative rock music:

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Staying Active While You're Stuck Inside IS Possible, It Just Takes Some Small Steps

I know the last thing you want to think about right now is exercising, but it's time to put down the controller and put on your workout clothes.


As someone who has also been living on a bed since March, I can guarantee you that working out has been the last thing on my priority list. It's pretty far down there, along with my motivation and brain cells I used to use for work. However, I have made an effort in the past couple of weeks to move up exercising to at least number three on my priorities list.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Got Clean At A Very Young Age, And It Honestly Saved My Life

At 18, the world looked so much different for me than it did for most other 18-year-olds that I knew.

Emmie Pombo

Going into rehab when I was 19 was hands down the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. My addiction started when I was around 17 and spiraled and spiraled out of control, as addictions always do. However, looking back, I'm so lucky my addiction started and ended when it did.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

7 Things Your Partner Can Do To Support You When You Have PCOS

Don't be afraid to ask for help or comfort if you need it.


Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) may not be totally visible to the eye, which makes it a lot harder for your partner to understand what's going on with your body.

If you are in a relationship, it's important that you communicate your PCOS symptoms with your partner. I say "your" symptoms specifically because everyone's symptoms are different.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Watched 'The Social Dilemma' And YIKES, I'm Terrified For The Next Generation's Mental Health

Millennials can remember a time without online social affirmation, but we may be the last ones.

The Social Dilemma / Netflix

I've been in a media job for the entirety of my professional career. From part-time social media internships to full-time editorial work, I've continued to learn how to tell stories, write catchy headlines, and keep people interested. I believe working in media is a big responsibility, as well as a valuable way to advance our world.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

One Indictment, Three Charges, And No Justice For Breonna Taylor

We can't settle for this decision or a system that is fundamentally broken and unequal.


On March 13, 26-year-old Breonna Taylor was fatally shot in her apartment by police who were executing a "no-knock" warrant. Since then, there have been rallying efforts both in the streets and on social media demanding justice for Taylor and keeping her name known.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments