What Long Distance Has Taught Me

What Long Distance Has Taught Me

Based on popular belief, you learn a lot.
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In life, we learn many different things — whether it's learning to ride a bike or solving a question on a math test or learning from your first heartbreak. These lessons build ourselves into stronger beings, but the one situation in life, when you know you won't have your significant other around a lot, is long distance relationships, better known as an LDR. I've gone through two long distance relationships, but the most recent was the best of all. When a person thinks of long distance, they think of long Skype calls and constantly checking their phones to see if they received a text or phone call from their other half.

My boyfriend and I didn't meet over the Internet because we (somewhat) knew each other from high school and after a few years of no contact, we both decided to try a relationship. Almost two years later, we are still together and happier than we could ever be. Here is what long distance has taught me, and what it can teach you.

Long distance has taught me patient. Believe it or not, but the one who is farther from you will be missing you the most and wanting to see you at this very moment. My boyfriend was a Marine, and it was stressful. Although I was used to my previous long distance boyfriend giving me constant attention, there was a completely new world I have yet to discover. The military wasn't just part of his life, but it ran it too. Patience taught me that he would call or text me back when he had the chance, not when it was convenient for me. It also taught me that no matter what, to always have hope and faith in the distance, no matter how much either one of us conjured the thought of giving up.

Long distance taught me hope. Dating military can be a frightening experience, I won't deny that, but it can be rewarding as well. Rewarding because you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or husband/wife, risking their life and sacrificing themselves for their country. Hope taught me to look positively at the future and not burden the things your significant other has to offer. It has also taught me to look at the bright side and not always worry.

Long distance taught me faith and loyalty. Have faith and you shall prosper. Faith taught me not to look at the negatives or cons of a long distance relationship, but to trust in my long distance partner and listen to his concerns and allow myself to believe that he's not being unfaithful. Loyalty taught me to trust him and get to know him as often as possible, even if we weren't able to talk for long periods. Now trust me, in the military, not talking for long periods is quite normal. It might be normal for other types of long distance relationships as well. Loyalty taught me to wholeheartedly dedicate myself to the relationship. No matter how much I missed him, or wanted some form of affectionate contact, I barred myself from using any sort of social media and texted him "I miss you" when I had this feeling.

Long distance has taught me forgiveness. No matter what the struggles might be, or perhaps any missed events, the apologies and understandings must come out of hiding. taught me to be OK with any sort of event, that was acceptable, that occurred that'd prevent us from communicating.

Long distance taught me communication. Yes, communication is a must in long distance relationships, and sometimes the best won't always have great communication. This taught me to be more open and to come out of my shell a little more. This taught me to be open to any problems or emotions that I was feeling. This has brought us closer.

After the distance had ended, he returned back home for good. The final lesson long distance taught me was independence. This distance has taught me that it is OK to be independent and not have to always rely on the other being there. However, when it came to small or big things we were a part of, we expected each other to be there and support us, even if it was in spirit.

Long distance has long been deemed as one adventure that is meant for the strong. If you are strong and able to give long distance a try, then do it. Let long distance teach you lessons that can strengthen yourself and your relationship. Remember, true love always wins.

Cover Image Credit: Lorii Abela

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30 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

Things a best male friend would tell you.
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1. The sexy, crazy fun girl doesn’t always win the guy.
Yes, we are attracted to the fun party girls that never settle down, but at the end of the day, we can’t bring those girls home to meet our moms. Every guy is looking for the sweet, beautiful and down-to-earth girl that makes us laugh, keeps us grounded and believes in us. We want a girl that we can talk to about more than just how many shots we can take before we blackout. Guys want to date a Megan Fox and marry an Emma Watson.

2. Men are not mind readers.

3. Sunday sports are like the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. It's a fact of life, and you've just got to let it be.

4. When a game is on, please only talk during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, so neither do we.

6. Ask for what you want.
Let me be really clear about this one. Whether the hint is subtle or obvious, we're probably not going to get what you're trying to say. So, just tell us what you want.

7. Anything said a week ago becomes null and void and cannot be brought up in an argument again.

8. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how to do it. Not both.

9. We only see about 16 colors.
For example, the term "peach" is a fruit, not a color.

10. If we ask what’s wrong, and you reply, "Nothing," we will act as if nothing is wrong.
We probably know that you’re lying, but it’s not worth the fight.

11. You have enough of my fraternity shirts.
Don’t keep asking for more, and don’t just take them. You have to earn them.

12. Stop telling me to make you my #WCW.
Everyone gets annoyed with the couples that make each other their #MCM or #WCW every week; we will not be that couple.

13. It’s not attractive to hear you talk bad about other girls.
I know you don’t like one of your sisters because she stole your Big-Little shirt idea, but keep that talk for your sisters, not us.

14. Being smart is very attractive.
We want a girl that can read a book and carry on a good conversation.

15. Allow me to open the door for you.
Don’t let chivalry die. I know you’re 100 percent capable of opening the door yourself, but see it as a nice gesture. It’s something our dad taught us to do.

16. I’m going to try and fix your problems.
Don’t vent to me if you don’t want me to try and fix what’s going on. That’s what guys do.

17. Don’t take my fries.
I’m a growing man, and I need my food but will gladly take whatever you don’t eat.

18. Don’t be dramatic.
Guys don’t like girls that are crazy about drama, plain and simple. If you enjoy the attention that getting jealous gets you, you will not get my attention.

19. Don’t say you miss me after an hour or a day.
That’s when you begin to edge into the "clingy" zone.

20. It’s okay to compliment us.
We like when you tell us we look good. We will just never say that out loud.

21. But don’t call us "pretty" or "beautiful."
This is not "Twilight," we do not sparkle, and we are not "pretty".

22. “I’m not looking for a relationship” can sometimes be directly translated to "You’re great, but we’re just not ready to be tied down quite yet."

23. We’re all on that college budget.
So know that we would like to give you the world, but can only afford the dollar menu sometimes.

24. If my friends don’t approve of you, then odds are we won't be able to date.
The same sentiment goes for my family.

25. I will smile, but not 100 times.
I’ll take pictures because you want to, but if I’m being honest, you’re going to look just as good in the first one as you will in 100th one you force someone to take.

26. We don’t always have to be doing something.
We can enjoy Netflix and a large pizza.

27. You have too many shoes.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. Don't ask a question that you don't want an answer to.

30. We are in shape. Round IS a shape.

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12 Signs You Know The Guy Just Isn't Right For You, No Matter How Cute He Is

Time to chuck that pros and cons list.

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If you're like me and you can't decide if someone is right for you or not, you make a pros and cons list. Nine out of 10 times, it's helpful. I decided to make things a little easier for the pros and cons list making individuals and comprise a list of signs that the guy just isn't right for you. It's hard to decide and you think that maybe you're overthinking or that you're just scared and trying to find flaws, but when it comes down to it, go with your gut.

He's not good for you if...

1. He doesn't make you laugh

Humor is SO important. What's a relationship if you can't joke around and laugh?

2. Your conversations don't have substance

Do you ever sit down and talk with someone for a while and then you sit back and ask yourself what did you just talk about? If the conversation is boring, your relationship is going to be boring.

3. He doesn't support your goals

Time to say "bye."

4. You don't get butterflies when you're around him

If you don't get that feeling in your stomach where you want to throw up, in a good way, he's not it. You want to feel excited and nervous and happy to see them and be around them.

5. He makes you feel smothered

Nobody wants to feel overwhelmed.

6. He doesn't respect you

Again, "Bye!"

7. He's a negative Nancy

We all need some positivity in our lives. Why be with someone who's a drag?

8. You can't truly be yourself around him

Be with someone who accepts you for you, completely. He's gotta accept your quirks and your spunky personality.

9. You don't get along with his friends or you don't like them

If his friends are jerks and he hangs around with not so great people, that shows what kind of person he is.

10. Your values don't align

Self-explanatory.

11. He tries to impress you materialistically

He can buy you all the bags, jewelry, and clothes in the world, but if that's all he has to offer, he's not good for you.

12. You don't see him as a friend

If you can't be friends or don't have that friendship vibe with him, then that's not going to do any good for the relationship.

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