Long-distance relationships are not known for being fun, easy, or even ideal in any circumstance, and most people dread the idea of ever having to endure one. They are hard work to maintain and they ultimately test the maturity and communication skills of both people involved in the relationship. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it is very easy to think about all the downsides that come along with it, like having to wait weeks to see your significant other, not being able to enjoy college or your school’s traditions with them, and even not really feeling like part of their life at some points.

But if you look at long-distance relationships from a different perspective they have a hidden beauty.

My boyfriend and I began dating last summer, a month before I left for Baylor and we were crazy enough to start a long-distance relationship. It was hard, but we managed to get through our first year of long distance thanks to letter writing, face time call,s and visits when we could make time. Although last year was difficult, this year will be even more challenging for us, since he is transferring to a new school, where we will see each other even less and have less time to talk with each other over the phone. In my most recent "another-long-distance-semester” freak out I started to think negatively about how hard this was going to be for us–and don’t get me wrong, it will be–and then I realized that long distance actually has many upsides we don’t always think about.

1. Long-distance relationships force you to date more intentionally.

Long-distance relationships are difficult, because you don’t have the luxury of seeing your significant other every single day. They are constant work and can cause unnecessary stress unless you’re serious about the relationship. They force you to date more intentionally, because if you can’t see a future with that person, then there is really no reason to keep dating them.

2. It gives you the opportunity to grow on your own and become the very best person you can be.

During our college years, we will grow more than ever before, figuring out who we are and what we stand for. In a long-distance relationship, you have the amazing opportunity to grow independently and really figure out what you want in life. Now I’m not saying you can’t do that in a normal relationship, because you definitely can, but it is a very special thing for people who want to pursue completely different things in completely different places to have this opportunity to grow in different ways and then come back to each other as the best versions of themselves.

3. You have more time to focus on classes, activities, and other friendships.

Whether you are in a long-distance relationship or not, I think we can all agree that relationships take a lot of time. Especially in college, time is something we never seem to have enough of when it comes to finishing two projects, reading 75 pages of a textbook, studying for a couple tests, going to a million sorority functions, countless club meetings, and then, of course, hanging out with all the really cool friends you have met. In a long-distance relationship, you don’t have to split your time between friends, activities, school AND a significant other, so you have more time to devote to growing lasting friendships, making A’s in those killer classes, and being active on your campus.

4. The time you get with your significant other is more special.

One thing that I have for sure realized over the last year is that in long-distance relationships, since you don’t get much time with the person you love, the time you do get is much more special. Instead of studying, watching Netflix or being on your cell phones, you can focus your attention completely on them for the visit and truly enjoy all the small laughs and late night conversations with them, because you know it doesn’t happen often.

5. You become much better at communicating effectively.

Communication is key in any type of relationship, but sometimes, communication can be very difficult over letters that are on a week-long delay and phone calls that feel impersonal. For me, this was very difficult in the beginning (and sometimes still is) because I didn’t think it was important to share all the seemingly irrelevant parts of my day. I had to learn that those are the things my boyfriend needed to hear in order to feel part of my life, and vice versa. In addition, we didn’t always know when we were going to get the chance to talk or how long we would actually have on the phone before our roommates butted into our conversation, so when things did come up that we needed to talk about, we both learned that we had to be direct, because we didn’t know how long we were going to get to talk about it for.

6. You learn not to sweat the small stuff.

When you’re with someone long enough, sometimes the smallest things can be annoying. However, in long-distance relationships, since communication is very limited sometimes and you can’t always see the person to work out a problem, you have to pick and choose your battles. Long-distance relationships are hard enough and you learn fast that you don’t want to spend the only time you have to talk to your significant other constantly fighting about trivial issues.

7. You get to pursue what makes you happy while still being with the person you love.

“Different strokes for different folks,” right? Of course! Not every college or every path is suited for every person, and being in a long-distance relationship gives you the opportunity to pursue what you want and still be with the person of your dreams. All we want is for our significant other that we love so dearly to just be happy, and long-distance relationships mean we don’t have to hinder their happiness or our happiness by choosing and settling for a path or a person that doesn’t quite do the trick. We can have both our dreams and the person of our dreams.

When it comes down to it, I would never recommend a long-distance relationship to anybody. BUT, for those of us who have chosen to be part of one to be with the person we love, it’s time to change the way we think about them. While they are never ideal relationships, they have a hidden beauty to them, because they actually present more opportunities to for us to grow than we normally realize.