I have been called a vampire, ghost, and just plain pale. I have even been asked if I tan. The answer: no. So, Summer is a rough time for me and for all my other pale friends out there.
1. Sunscreen
Sunscreen is your best friend. Every Summer you begin thinking you can get away with 30 SPF because you don’t burn that easily.
2. Being asked why you're so white
We get asked why we're so white as if it is an extraordinary thing for someone to not be able to tan. If I knew why I was so white I would fix it so I could tan. Trust me.
3. More Sunscreen
That 30 SPF lasted a week. Every time you step outside for more than 45 minutes you must put it on. Not to mention you’re starting to look a little red already. At the beach, you go through a can a day because you have to re-apply every hour.
4. Sunburn
It is impossible to avoid. You will get sunburned. It is just a matter of when. Once you get burned, your mom yells at you and says something like “I told you to put on sunscreen” (you did), and “you need more than 30 SPF.” So, you opt for 100 SPF next time. The worst is to try not to draw attention to yourself while out and about because you look like a lobster, a giant red lobster.
5. Aloe
Aloe is your best friend. No lie. The gel makes the sunburn burn just a little less so you can put clothes on, and be able to climb into your sheets at night. The lotion form of aloe is for during the day when you’re trying not to peel. (Yes, we pale people peel too.)
6. Clothes
Those cute halter tops, and strapless dresses are a huge no-no for day time wear. Just one day shopping at the outdoor mall will leave your shoulders scorched. Shirts with sleeves are your go-to. Sometimes a long sleeve shirt is not out of the question either if you’re already burned (which, you probably are).
7. Tan Lines
We pale people get tan lines too! They may not be that night and day difference, but there is totally a line from our swimsuits from where we go from ghost white to a more cream color.
8. The Beach = The Frying Pan
As much as we love the beach, it is also a frying pan for us. No matter how much sunscreen you drench yourself in you end up burned, and in pain. And that is just Day 1. The rest of your beach trip is spent in aloe and under that umbrella you bought 3 years ago at Wal-Mart across from your hotel because this isn't your first rodeo.
9. Constantly having tan people hold their arms up to yours
Not a day goes by that one of our tan friends think it is hilarious to compare skin color. They always put an arm up to ours and laugh and remind us how white we are. *sigh* Thanks for the reminder, "friend."
10. Reflecting the Sun
Another risk of being outside aside from sunburn is the fact that we will blind another human. We are walking sun reflectors. Sometimes we even blend in the white sidewalk or sand.
11. Spray Tans
You decide that after being made fun of and burned that you want to at least look like everyone else. So, you get a spray tan. Except, they never look as good as you want them to. Therefore, furthering the fact that you are indeed forever pale.
