Believe it or not, seasonal depression exists. Some people think that it’s brought on by the person himself or herself, but that’s entirely untrue. The way it’s described is, it’s a disorder that changes with the seasons.

“Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that's related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you're like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.” This is the way the Internet describes it- but they’re missing the big point: you can’t control it.

No one but people who have it understand how frustrating it is waking up some days and being in an absolutely horrible mood that you can’t pull yourself out of. To constantly be asked “what’s wrong with you?” Like, nothing is wrong with me. I wish I could control it; I don’t wish to have difficulty waking up in the morning, nausea, and tendency to oversleep and over eat and always have some form of anxiety.

I don’t want to be this way, I just am.

Between 60% and 90% of people with SAD are women. They say that if you are a female between 15 and 55, you are more likely to develop SAD. So not only do women have PMS, Menopause, and child labor to worry about, add SAD to the list, too. Awesome.

“Take more vitamins and stay active” professionals will tell you. There’s not much that doctors can do for “winter blues,” which is torturous to people like me. So on those days where you lash out at everyone you love you just have to let the mood ride out because there’s nothing you can do about it- and it’s unfair. Even though I do indeed take vitamins and stay active, it doesn’t necessarily stop the episodes from happening. Without warning it just takes over. Some days you feel on top of the world some days you feel below it- it just happens, but i've learned to accept it.

I’m not writing this for pity, I’m writing this for understanding. That if you’ve ever met someone who says they have seasonal depression and you think to yourself: “that doesn’t even exist,” trust me when I tell you you’re wrong. It’s an unfortunate case that I think needs to be paid more attention to.

They say “happiness is not a destination but a way of life,” and although I find that extremely true, that way of life is a little more difficult when that certain mood sets in.