Anxiety. One word, so many effects. Anxiety is probably one of the most overused words today. About a month or two ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety. My anxiety is rooted more in the social anxiety zone. What that means is I don’t do well in social situations such as parties, speaking in front of people, etc. Let me tell you, it sucks.
This is not me trying to get pity from others because although I said that anxiety is such an overused term, so many people suffer from it. It’s unreal. I just wanted to share my story and my perspectives on it, and if this helps anyone to know that they’re not alone in this and that it’s perfectly okay to have anxiety, well then I’m glad. So, buckle up and enjoy the ride.
I’m a freshman in college. My house is about 25 minutes away from my school, but I chose to live on campus for my first year to really try and get the “college experience.” One of my main reasons for living on campus was that I thought it would be easier for me to make friends that way. I get really nervous and awkward around people I don’t know. I become extremely insecure. You know those people that are just so outgoing and are always making new friends? Well, I am definitely not one of them. All my life I have wished that I could be like those people, but I have come to terms with the fact that I am not and never will be one of them.
Coming to college was a really big step for me. Moving away from home, even if it’s only 25 minutes, was huge for me. Long story short, I’m not really a fan of living on campus, and I go home every weekend. I’m not trying to discourage anyone here! If you’re an incoming freshman by all means live on campus if you want to! I’m glad I did because now I’ll never question what it would have been like to live on campus.
I think college was a really big eye-opener for me. I learned things about myself that I never would have if I didn’t try new things. I don’t really know if I would have ever found out that I have social anxiety if it weren’t for college. Maybe it isn’t college that made me come to these realizations, maybe it was the change. I don’t like change. Many people don’t but it’s inevitable. I lost myself this year, but with help from my family and friends, I’m on the path to finding myself again.
What I’m trying to say here is don’t be afraid to be yourself. Embrace who you are and love yourself. You are one of a kind. If you have anxiety, so what? You’re still an amazing person. If you have depression, so what? You’re still one of the bravest people out there. If you’re insecure, so what? You’re still beautiful inside and out. Love yourself people, please just love yourself. Because, once you love yourself, others will love you too.
Sending lots of love your way, xoxo.
