Let’s face it -- everyone is going to go through the struggles of anxiety at some point or another. It is a part of life. Sometimes anxiety is just a natural thing, and sometimes anxiety can actually be a good thing. However, there are also times when anxiety consumes so much of a person’s life that it becomes a legitimate problem. It becomes an actual disorder when it significantly interferes with daily activities, and gets worse over time.
Anxiety presents itself more in certain scenarios – before a big test, the first day of school or while waiting to see if you made a sports team. It can spark especially with the beginning of college. It’s a brand new go at things and you are completely on your own. You don’t have your parents to help you out along the way, or friends to go everywhere with. You have a completely different course load and a new set of expectations to abide by. College isn’t easy -- no one knows how to go about everything. Everyone is going to encounter a bump in the road along the way that will cause some issues.
But college for students with anxiety disorders is a whole different boat. Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint people that suffer from extreme anxiety disorders. It isn’t a physical illness that you can spot right away on someone the minute you see them.
I guess I’ll let the secret out: I’ve suffered from multiple extreme anxiety disorders since I was very little. I don’t think it’s something that my demeanor or personality necessarily gives away – I like to think I do a pretty okay job masking it most of the time. Something like being away from my home, my comfort zone and being on my own at a college an hour and a half away is something that would have shot my anxiety through the roof. Thankfully, however, I was able to meet some amazing people that were able to talk with me and help me handle my anxieties. It wasn’t easy, but it was so important.
I remember as a kid, sitting outside on the playground of my daycare, staring worriedly out into the parking lot in search for my mother’s car. She got out of work at 2:30 p.m. and was a five-minute ride away, so if it got to be 2:35 p.m. and she wasn’t there yet, I would burst out into tears, full panic attack ensuing shortly after, absolutely convinced that she got into a horrible car accident and died.
At the summer camp that I went to during my middle school years, I physically could not get myself to go on the fun field trips that any other kid would be thrilled to go on – trips to the beach, to a Buffalo Bison’s game, to a local pool. I had these crazy thoughts in my head and would somehow convince myself in each circumstance that either the bus we were on would break down, or I would get lost and be all alone, or my mom would forget to pick me up and I would be stranded. As I’m typing these reasons down, it seems ridiculous to me, but the fears were incredibly real.
Two sports that I love to play are basketball and volleyball. I played both for many years and I was very passionate about them both. However, by my senior year of high school, I was playing neither. My parents, my teammates and my coaches were all shocked by this. I could never admit to any of them the real reason why I could not continue to play the sport. For example, I quit volleyball for a couple of reasons, but one of the main ones was because I was unable to do a side roll after digging for a ball and landing on the floor. I’ll repeat that for the people in the back. I quite literally quit volleyball, a sport that I loved, because I was not able to do a roll after diving for a ball. I was a setter, I rarely hit the floor! That is a crazy reason for quitting, but the thought of having to do it in a drill or what not shook me. It took over me and consumed my thoughts. It was all I could think about during practice to the point where I would actually leave practice early, saying I felt, “sick.”
During my junior and senior year of high school, I was able to reach out and receive help from my school social worker. She helped me through my anxieties and helped me discover coping strategies that worked for me and calmed me down. Because of her, my transition to college was incredibly easy. I used to think the concept of dorming was absolutely inconceivable. Yet here I am, typing this in my dorm lounge, surrounded with great friends in an amazing community.
NO ONE should EVER be ashamed of reaching out for help. Nothing upsets me more than when people feel like they can’t get help, or unintentionally undermine what they are going through. To add to that, nothing frustrates me more than when people, in a sense, talk up their anxiety, because in my case, at least, I do not in any sense like talking about it.
A lot of teenagers suffer from anxiety disorders. In fact, one in five don’t get the treatment they need. Sometimes it’s being too afraid to, or outside voices undermining what they’re going through, but so many teens do not get the help that could potentially reroute their life in a positive direction.
College can be such a stressful process, but having a support system and ways to keep your anxieties at a minimum is more beneficial than I can put into words. No one should ever have to suffer through anxiety disorders alone or without help. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I have suffered from anxiety disorders, because I am more proud of the fact I was able to overcome them.
I cannot stress enough that if you think you are suffering from a mental disorder, reach out, get some help and kick anxiety’s butt.
