What Keeps Us

What Keeps Us

How to stop holding onto what only holds us back.
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Ever said to yourself, “I wish I could do that, but…” or “I want to, but…”

What were the words that spilled out next? If I had to guess, the answer would look something like this:

“…I just don’t have the time.”

“…I don’t have the money.”

“…I can’t because (x,y,z).”

Believe me, I have been there. Haven’t we all? I listed all the reasons, made all of the excuses, until I realized that I was the one standing in my own way. When it all boils down, there are three main things that hold us back from accomplishing what we want: time, money, and fear.

Time

Time is perhaps the grandest luxury we have. You can spend it, but you can never purchase more. Therefore, what we do with the time we are given makes all the difference. It can be our greatest resource, or it can fill us to the brim with regret. In a society so crazed with busy lifestyles, how do any of us have time for anything? If you’re a college student, you are all too familiar with juggling classes, homework, projects, and any remnants of a social life. It’s overwhelming enough alone without even adding in relationships, sports, hobbies, part-time jobs or internships. The same applies to those of us who are working full time jobs or are parents. So what gives?

  • Realize that the time is going to pass anyway. The hard truth is that you can continue to sit there pining after this dream, or understand that if you started today, you’re that much closer to making it come true. Doesn’t matter how small the step is, as long as it is in the right direction. Where do you want to be in a year?
  • Make the time. You have the same hours in a day as Beyoncé. While this is true, she also has a whole team of professionals working for her. If you’re like me and don’t have those amenities, then you need to make the time. We hear this statement constantly, but it is much easier to speak those words then to live them. Understand that time is an investment. Don’t waste it. Want to make fitness a part of your lifestyle, but are too exhausted when the day is done? Discover where your hours are going. First, schedule out your day so you see exactly where your time and presence is required: i.e. school, work, etc. You’ll see that you aren’t there for a full 24 hours. Before, after, or in between, you can find the time. Maybe that means sacrificing an hour of television. If your ultimate goal is not as important to you as "The Bachelorette," you will only continue to make excuses and fall behind. Suck it up and set your alarm for 5:00 a.m. or quit wasting time on Facebook. Nobody said this was gonna be easy. Tell those distractions where to go.
  • Stop waiting for the right moment. Rid yourself of this toxic habit. “It will be better next week/in the summer /when I have...” Hate to break it to you, but you are lying to yourself. A week or six months will go by and you will find that nothing has changed. Did you save up all the money you planned to? Probably not. The cycle will continue. You may never be truly ready. So okay, maybe you don’t have as much in your bank account as you’d like right now, but you also have more than what you would if you lost your job. Put these examples into perspective. You have your health now, but will you always? Are you in a position where you don’t have major responsibilities: a serious career, spouse, children, etc.? Consider the fact that once you have these albeit wonderful things, you may not have the same exact amount of freedom or opportunity as you do in this present moment. Can you still make it work? Of course. There are always exceptions to the rule. I am not suggesting you book a flight to Australia when you’re in debt or leave your kids, or shirk all responsibilities. What I’m saying is, while this may not feel like the best time, you risk throwing the opportunity away for one that may not come later down the road. Stop putting off what you’ll regret not starting today. A year from now, how do you want to look back on your life?

Money

Ah, the dreaded topic, the root of all evil, the stress-inducing and fun-sucking issue of money, or lack thereof. It runs us. And as much as we don’t want to believe it, we need it. Do we need private yachts or a mansion for our home? Of course not. But, we do need money for hospital bills and the medications we need to stay healthy. We need money to pay the rent, so we can have a roof over our heads. We need money for food, so that we can eat and nourish our bodies. Sure, it isn’t everything. But the unfortunate truth is that even a small amount of money can be a necessity to live, at least to live comfortably. I can’t tell you how to get rich, but I can give you suggestions on how to stop draining your account.

  • Stop buying stupid stuff. Seriously. All those trips to Starbucks? Hitting the sale rack at your favorite store? You don’t need these things. These material items will bring you temporary pleasure, but they are not aiding you in your goal. In fact, they are keeping you from reaching it. That $20 dress you bought might have seemed like a steal, but it could have been a taxi in Paris or toward a textbook you need for class. Say no to the mocha frappucinos, your wallet (and your body) will thank you later.

  • Downsize your belongings. Clothes you haven’t worn in a while? A snowboard you don’t use? Jewelry that has been collecting dust? Get rid of them. Hold a garage sale or sell your clothes to a store that buys gently used apparel, and list the snowboard and jewelry on eBay or Craigslist. I’m the not-so-proud owner of a closet full of things I never wear, yet still keep because “you never know.” Enough with that! Ask a friend to help you, or watch a couple episodes of “Hoarders” like my boyfriend made me do first. If you aren’t using it and haven’t in a year, you probably won’t be using it next year. Think of it this way- the money you get from selling these items could be the security deposit on your first apartment!
  • Prioritize not only your spending, but also your savings. Grab a sheet of paper and a calculator. Got it? Good. At the top, write your monthly income. Below, list all of your monthly expenses, such as rent, utilities, cell phone bill, etc. with the cost of each item. Now add them together, and subtract from your monthly income. Hopefully, you will have some money left over. Do we see that money, though, or even think about it? Often it feels as if we get a paycheck only to see it go straight to paying off bills. This might be avoided if you monitor your spending habits. A friend of mine participates in “No Spend November” where she allots money for all bills, but attempts to go the month without buying extras. I use an app called Digit, which monitors my spending and my income and then pulls a small amount of money from my bank account every couple days automatically and puts it toward a savings fund. There are several different apps or methods you can use to save- it just takes some researching. Since I am passionate about travel, I use a credit card that gives me airline points, which is incredibly beneficial to me since I use them often. In a way, this is saving too! If you are in an extremely rough place financially, bite the bullet and pick up another job. Yes, we know the service industry is not always glamorous work, but it is every bit worth the effort when you get that extra cash deposited. Sacrifice is the way to success. How bad do you really want it?

Fear

Surprisingly, this can easily overpower both of the aforementioned items. Fear is often the original underlying reason behind any justification we try and give ourselves (or others) for why we cannot do something. When it comes down to it, you may actually have the money in your account, but you don’t want to make the investment because of the “what if”. I have a friend who wants very badly to finish his degree, but he is nervous to go back to school. What if he fails again? Since it’s been a couple years since he was in school last, what if he struggles with being a student again? Committing to a degree takes commitment that goes beyond time and money.

Your desire to achieve your dream must be greater than the excuses you give from voice in your head that tells you “no.” Whatever the dream, success is very much a mental game. So how do we tackle our own minds?

  • Take the first small step. When I got the idea in my head that I wanted to run a half marathon, I had never run further than one or two miles. I didn’t know where to begin, but I (quite literally) started with a single step. After a couple weeks, I went from walking to running, and after several months had passed, I had built up my endurance and speed to the point where I was medaling in 5k races. I went on to finish not only one, but three half marathons that year. Often, we see our dreams as unattainable because the distance between reaching them and where we currently stand seem too overwhelming to conquer. Instead of 13.1, I focused on running three miles, then four, and increasing by one mile at a time. If what you want takes a lengthy period of time or multiple stages of effort, breaking it down so you take it step by step, or day by day, can do wonders.
  • Get a support group. It is far easier to give up if you are not surrounded by others who are working toward or supporting you in the same goal. Also, in some cases it helps to make it public. This held me accountable. Everyone knew I had already signed up, so I couldn’t back out now. Instead, I surrounded myself with like-minded people. I was 100% less likely to skip a run if I had made plans with a friend to train. What’s more is that I was able to ask questions and receive support from that individual. I got advice about what shoes I should be wearing and which gels tasted better, but more importantly, I got nothing but encouragement and positivity, which increased my confidence and helped fuel my determination. Make sure your family and friends know about your goal. Even if they don’t have experience with the subject, they can be your main source of strength. From runners to non-runners, like my parents, these people kept me going. Those who believe in you will always help keep you focused and sustained.
  • Plan it out. First, I threw caution to the wind and signed up for the race. I knew that whether or not I was ready, it was going to happen regardless. Now that I had a goal with an end date, it was easy to map out. You may not be training for a race or writing down your mileage on a calendar, but with any goal you need a solid plan. The saying, “Fail to plan, plan to fail” has never been a truer statement. Recently, I sat down with my friend who wants to finish his degree and made a chart. Simple as it may seem, write your goal down. From there, think about why you want to accomplish it (any reasons whatsoever) and jot that down. Keep this; ingrain it into your memory and keep it on post-it notes on your bathroom mirror or wherever you can see it regularly as a reminder. Next, write what you are afraid of. Is it fear of failure? Fear of commitment? Fear of the unknown? Whatever setback you think you may encounter on this journey, write it down but move on. Next, brainstorm all of the possible ways you can overcome said obstacle. Let’s say you are afraid of failing out of college. What can you do to be sure you don’t? For instance, going to class and doing your homework are obvious answers. But delve deeper- what can you do to make sure you go to every class? How are you going to ensure that you finish every assignment? List whatever you feel you need to do in order to stay on the right track. Now, remember #2, getting a support group? Tell others in your support group. Maybe you are afraid of failing out because you don’t understand math, but perhaps your cousin is a math teacher, or your friend can recommend a tutor. If you communicate your needs with your support group, together you become unstoppable.
  • Envision the final outcome. Imagine walking across that stage and being handed your degree, or finally listing it on your résumé. Ever have someone tell you that you couldn’t do something, or not have faith enough in yourself? But then you crushed it, and proved everyone wrong?! A sense of pride should well up inside you at just the thought. You can finally say, “I did it!” You are capable of such remarkable and infinite things. Doesn’t matter how many others believe that, just as long as you do.

Cover Image Credit: Kara Knickerbocker

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To All The Nurses In The Making

We tell ourselves that one day it'll all pay off, but will it actually?
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I bet you’re taking a break from studying right now just to read this, aren’t you? Either at the library with friends or in your dorm room. Wherever you may be, you never get the chance to put your books down, at least that’s how it feels to most of us. It sucks feeling like you’ve chosen the hardest major in the world, especially when you see other students barely spending any time studying or doing school work. The exclamation “You’re still here!” is an all too frequent expression from fellow students after recognizing that you’ve spent 10-plus hours in the library. At first it didn’t seem so bad and you told yourself, “This isn’t so difficult, I can handle it,” but fast-forward a few months and you’re questioning if this is really what you want to do with your life.

You can’t keep track of the amount of mental breakdowns you’ve had, how much coffee you’ve consumed, or how many times you’ve called your mom to tell her that you’re dropping out. Nursing is no joke. Half the time it makes you want to go back and change your major, and the other half reminds you why you want to do this, and that is what gets you through it. The thing about being a nursing major is that despite all the difficult exams, labs and overwhelming hours of studying you do, you know that someday you might be the reason someone lives, and you can’t give up on that purpose. We all have our own reasons why we chose nursing -- everyone in your family is a nurse, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re good at it, or like me, you want to give back to what was given to you. Regardless of what your reasoning is, we all take the same classes, deal with the same professors, and we all have our moments.

I’ve found that groups of students in the same nursing program are like a big family who are unconditionally supportive of each other and offer advice when it’s needed the most. We think that every other college student around us has it so easy, but we know that is not necessarily true. Every major can prove difficult; we’re just a little harder on ourselves. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with your school work and you want to give up, give yourself a minute to imagine where you’ll be in five years -- somewhere in a hospital, taking vitals, and explaining to a patient that everything will be OK. Everything will be worth what we are going through to get to that exact moment.

Remember that the stress and worry about not getting at least a B+ on your anatomy exam is just a small blip of time in our journey; the hours and dedication suck, and it’s those moments that weed us out. Even our advisors tell us that it’s not easy, and they remind us to come up with a back-up plan. Well, I say that if you truly want to be a nurse one day, you must put in your dedication and hard work, study your ass off, stay organized, and you WILL become the nurse you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let someone discourage you when they relent about how hard nursing is. Take it as motivation to show them that yeah, it is hard, but you know what, I made it through.

With everything you do, give 110 percent and never give up on yourself. If nursing is something that you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, stick with it and remember the lives you will be impacting someday.

SEE ALSO: Why Nursing School Is Different Than Any Other Major

Cover Image Credit: Kaylee O'Neal

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I Love The Way I Look

The man upstairs owns a mirror.

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So is the headline too overconfident?

I've never been one to write about or even talk about body image. It's one of those topics that we often try to avoid. My best friend and I love to go shopping, and every time we go you can bet we're encouraging each other and lifting one another up. Yet, as I scroll through social media and have casual conversations with other girls my age, you tend to notice that now just about every girl on the planet is insecure about at least one thing about themselves. Most of the time it's about our outer appearance rather than our inner appearance. Trust me, I HAVE BEEN THERE. We try it all. We diet, we work out in order to lose weight or look "more toned" in order to look this so-called "better." We try new healthy foods, follow fitness plans, we even watch fitness videos in our free time. We cover our faces in makeup to cover up the "mess" underneath. We want to be taller/shorter etc. But I'm here to tell you the hardcore truth...are you ready for this?

You are always going to be happy with the way you look. Yep, you read that right, HAPPY.

No matter how hard you try to fix these "things" about you, some of them can't be changed. You know that pretty awesome man upstairs? God? He's made us this way for a reason. He didn't want you to look like the girls around you or the ones on TV. He wanted you for you. The good man owns a mirror.

Alright, alright you've heard this a million times before, I know. But girl, have you read Romans 12:2 lately?

-"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is...His good, pleasing, and perfect will."

I challenge you to go back and read that one twice. More if you need to. The problem is that we are giving these labels to people as if they're name tags. These name tags almost become permanent on us, and we can't shake them off. Instead of judging, instead of the whispers and the "looks," we need to be lifting each other up. Point out the positives that you were given and the positives of those around you. If we all looked alike, imagine how boring life would be.

You don't have to impress anyone. Did you hear that one? You do not have to impress any person. God loves you for you, and in reality, isn't that all that matters? People who understand this will also love you for you. Be the uplifting woman in this world. Be mobile of positivity. In the end, it doesn't matter what we look like. Use the love that the good Lord is giving you and pass it out to the world around you.

1 Thessalonians 1:4- "God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special."

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