We as humans face many difficulties. Self-love is something that is sometimes absent, especially as a teenager. As you are trying to find yourself, you can get caught up in a lot of self-esteem issues. It is hard to become the best version of yourself if you don't believe there is one. You hear over and over again "you need to love yourself," that it begins to sound cliche, but it is the only way to be truly happy in life. Self-doubt is a toxic thing. When you start to love and appreciate yourself, the outcomes are beautiful.
You may be thinking "this girl doesn't understand, how can she? She hasn't walked in my shoes!" And you are probably right. I don't fully understand. But I know too well about low self-esteem. I was the girl who was always conforming to the standards of others because I was so afraid that who I was would never be good enough. I spent so much time trying to look a certain way. I wasted many a night sobbing because I just knew I was different. I let people define who I was. I let people control me. I gave people the power to tell me all of the reasons I should change who I am, to tell me that my personality traits are my weaknesses, and to tell me I'm just a damaged girl. I let people do these things to me. Why? Because I didn't love myself. I realized that the road I was going down was dark and endless, so I began to realize that I needed to change my self-image.
Self-love can seem like a difficult concept. How do you go from full on hatred to love? Well, it does't magically work like that. It can take a long time. This isn't something that happens overnight. You must start to appreciate yourself for all of the good you do, and forgive yourself for the bad. It is much, much easier said than done. But once you are able to see yourself as the smart, kind, beautiful individual you are, you will do great things.
One of the biggest issues I had is the lack of confidence. I was always doubting my talents and capabilities.Once I made the decision to think highly of myself, I began to pick up my head that was down for so long. I started taking pride in everything I did. I was able to do things I never thought I could do. It was like the weight of the entire wold was lifted off of my shoulders and I began to worry less. I started as a girl who was afraid to approach people for fear of not fitting in. Now, I am part of a sorority with 70+ amazing women, involved several organizations, have competed in pageants, and hold leadership positions. I realize that there is nothing stopping me from becoming the best, except for myself. So once I began to replace my toxic thoughts with loving ones, I was finally able to do things I have always dreamed of doing.
Aside from gaining confidence, I also learned how to be patient. Sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes it takes a while to see it. I would get into these droughts and could never fully get out of them. I almost seemingly gave up if something seemed out of reach at the time. For example, when I got my heart broken, I just assumed I'd never come back from it. It took a while but I learned that great things take patience. It may take a while to find the perfect man or best friend. It may take a while to figure out what you want to do with your life. And that is okay. Some events in my life have led me to believe that I would never find happiness, yet here I am today in the best place I have ever been in and even with my bad days, I feel like I'm on top of the world.
Most importantly, I learned how to truly live. I started to realize how unpredictable life is and instead of dreading it, I began to embrace it. I began to take chances. Life is too short to be stuck in the past. I started to appreciate things, even the bad things, in my life. I knew that there is so much I have left to do here. I knew that if I could change even one life for the better, I would be extraordinary. I began to smile more and worry less. Days began to seem brighter and more spontaneous. I was no longer harping on things I couldn't change. I realized that I was unconditionally loved. I was finally something I never thought I could be: happy.
So, if you are lost right now, just know you are not alone. There are things in this world that may seem to destroy you but you can pick yourself back up. Even in the lowest of times, you must remind yourself that you are a wonderful, unique individual. There is only one you. You need to take pride in this. You need to let yourself live. You need to view yourself as someone who is loved and cherished. You need to take a look in the mirror and look realize that what is staring back at you is beauty. You need to let go of everything that is holding you back. You need to remind yourself that you deserve the world.
