A few weeks ago, I was watching Nadia Comaneci get straight tens for the first time in Olympic Gymnastics history. Beside me, the nine-year-old I was babysitting watched with rapt attention before she pinched her stomach and declared she would never be as tiny as the girl in the video.
Obviously, I was more than taken aback.
But as I really thought about it, I realized that this isn’t exactly something new.
From the time that they’re born, children are subjected to the constant scrutiny of obscure relatives who declare they’ve never seen a fatter baby. As they start to grow up, people start to comment on how they’ll be so good looking, just as soon as they grow into their ears, or they lose the baby weight, or they get their teeth fixed.
Family nicknames start to arise out of these conversations; even my own means 'big cheeks'. It’s been 20 years, and I still haven’t outgrown it.
So what, do we blame our families for presenting the idea that there is a part of us that sticks out like a sore thumb?
The thing is, it’s not just our families. Children are under all kinds of pressure to look like someone on the television, or the superstar they see on posters.
It’s hard to break the news to a kid that their ‘idol’ actually spends three hours in makeup and hair, or is constantly working out at the gym, to look like they do.
So now it’s not only our family’s fault for gracing us with embarrassing pet names but also all the perfect people we see on T.V. But actually, there’s another layer to it.
See, none of this would matter if we just had an open, frank discussion on body issues.
People come in all shapes and sizes, and I’ve yet to meet someone who looks exactly like the person next to them. Even friends of identical twins can tell them apart.
But the Taylor Swift’s of the world seem to be the most celebrated body type, even if all the pop songs are trying to combat that image with more "booty-oriented" lyrics.
Even songs like ‘Anaconda’ or ‘All About that Bass’ seem to put down the girls who don’t have curves.
And that’s not okay.
Not every person, not every girl, will be a stick-thin supermodel. Not every girl will be the main feature celebrated on a Sir Mix-a-Lot song.
Some will, though.
So let’s stop putting each other down, for having any body type different from our own. Let’s have an open discussion that starts with you seeing that supermodel; I bet she’s worked really hard to get to where she is now.
Let’s stop lusting after one body, let’s stop letting people pin you as ‘big-boned’ or ‘skinny’.
Because at the end of the day, those who suffer the most are the ones who never had a chance to say a word.
People are born the way they are due to a set of genes they cannot control. They are not blessed, they are not lucky, they are people. Some of them have blue eyes, some have curly hair, and some will look like Taylor Swift while others look like Nicki Minaj.
It’s okay.
No two people are built in the same manner.
So, I’ll leave you with the same thing I told the girl I was with; beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s not fair to compare yourself with someone who literally has an entire different set of genes.
“Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” –Tina Fey
