At 21 years old I should feel on top of the world. I should feel like my life is just beginning and I have so much left to do. But a part of me is afraid that I’ve already let the best years of my life go or that I could be doing more than I currently am. I believe that this fear stems from a lot of sources such as having extremely high expectations of my life, seeing what others around me are doing, and from the media I am exposed to on a daily basis. This creates a large cloud of anxiety around me and others my age as we feel like we aren’t living up to our potential.
I know two boys who were accepted into Harvard and dropped out to start their own company. They are extremely intelligent and I am more than amazed at their commitment and dedication to starting and growing that business. I know other kids who are amazing athletes and writers. Also, living in NYC means that I’m around dozens of young adults who are making their dreams come true; starting their own business or doing what they love. I haven’t exactly found what I love yet and I definitely don’t have the means or even a solid idea to start a business. I sometimes feel inadequate when thinking about all the accomplishments of my peers as I wish that I could find my passion as early as they did. In the back of my mind I know that my passion is somewhere out there and I have to find it. It is just taking me a little longer to find it, but the good thing is that sometimes the journey is better than the destination.
It is also hard scrolling through my Instagram, Facebook, or even Snapchat, and seeing friends and former classmates taking vacations in foreign places. It is even harder to see them out and about right in my own city. I feel like I should know about the places they are going to or that I should be there making the most of what’s left of my summer; but instead I’m sitting at home writing, napping and watching TV. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, napping and watching TV, but sometimes I wonder if I could be doing more with my life. It is absolutely terrible to compare yourself to other people but sometimes my social media feeds really cause me to have the worst case of FOMO.
Even when I am enjoying one of my favorite activities, the shows I watch depict a very different picture of what life should be like for me right now. I remember watching Skins (the UK version) in high school and thinking woah that is completely different than my high school. I wondered if it was weird that we never had any house parties or if just taking random road trips with your friends was the normal thing to do. And as I got older, media depiction of how I should be further distorted my reality. However, no rarely does a 21-year-old have his or her life together and that is perfectly okay.
Although I constantly think of what I could be doing or what other people are doing I am grateful for all of the memories, experiences, and accomplishments I have gathered over my 21 years of life. Each one is just as important as the new places and events others are experiencing. Plus 21 is just the beginning. I have plenty of years to figure out who I am and where I heading and I plan to have as much as fun while I am doing so.
Life isn’t always as I imagined but as they say, “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
