To The Boys Who Treat Me Like A Bro But Also Like A Fragile Girl

To The Boys Who Treat Me Like A Bro But Also A Fragile Girl

First off, I'm neither.


Sup Bro,

First off let me start by saying I am not one of your bro's nor am I a girl. Lately, I have realized that I do not fit in either of those boxes. I am somewhere in the middle of "dudeboy who can bullshit with the bro's" and "was born female and dates girls so I can talk to them too". That being said, I fit in more on the masculine side of that spectrum. Just because I fit in on one side of a spectrum does not make me a bro or a chick.

Aside from that, I love you guys. You know that. We wear the same clothes, have the same hair, like to match outfits, play sports together, talk "guy talk", and work on "guy stuff" together. I will say that most of my female identifying friends don't know much about cars or construction so it is nice to have people in my life that understand how frustrating it is that I have had issues with the same tire FOUR TIMES THIS YEAR and that I want to go into construction instead of being in college but I chose this path instead. All that being said, there needs to be a line in the sand.

You treat me like one of you until something happens and you realize that when I was born I had an "F" put on my birth certificate. Sometimes you think that letter makes your voice just a little bit louder than mine and you realize that I am five foot three inches and suddenly you stand a little taller than me. I always try and deepen my voice because I hate my high-pitched voice but it goes even lower around you all, but on days like that it sounds squeaky like a mouse.

Days when you realize that I might not be able to dead life a box that is almost half my weight, I'm 125 pounds with a lot of health issues that you don't know about because I can't be seen as the weak link. Or days, when I speak out about issues I am passionate about my voice, is silenced by you. When I don't hit on other girls with you. When I don't think a girl has a nice rack or ass because I look at her eyes first, I get laughed at. When all of these things happen, it fucking sucks.

To my conservative bros: I love you and I support you. Your MAGA hat just does not fit me and it never will. I believe that your beliefs are valid until they disrespect me or people I care about. How can I be your bro if you treat me like one and then silence me on Facebook when I stand up for the women that I love or the LGBTQ+ group that I am in or anything else that your President is against? You act one way around me and my friends, you treat us with love and respect and say you accept us. Then you go home and hide behind your keyboard only to silence us and our beliefs because you know that I will fight for what I believe in to your face or on a screen. Is it because you are afraid that someone who was born a female will embarrass you in front of your male born friends? It's not a matter of being "owned" or being shown a point, it's a matter of pride. My pride for the communities I am involved in will always shine brighter because I have had to fight to be involved in them.

To my liberal bros: I love you and I support you. You all don't care about my views, you support them and agree with them. Thank you for that. However, vocal support and encouragement in the face of your conservative bros is really appreciated. It's hard to fight alone. Apathy is worse than hate. We need you on our side and we need everyone to know that we are here and we are not going anywhere. I may be seen as a liberal, however, I'm not. I'm a Democrat. I believe in what I believe in and I need the voice of the bros. Sometimes all I need is people with an "M" on their birth certificate-after all, your voice is deeper.

You all are people just as I am. If you are in my life, there is a reason for that. I would not let you in my life if I did not want you in my life. I just cannot have my voice silenced or my views judged because you suddenly remember what genitals I have. Your opinion is no more valid than mine. If I were your girlfriend, mother, etc., would you still treat me the same way? Would you still tell me that Brett Kavanaugh is having his life ruined while Dr. Ford is a liar even while I tell you how I was sexually assaulted in tenth grade and I remember every detail? Would you still degrade women in front of me? We can get along without silencing my voice or yours. Our relationship can be built on a mutual understanding of values and respect just like any other. Just because I was born a female doesn't mean I am one, and just because I fit in with the guys doesn't mean I am a bro. Our relationship can be equal.

I love you guys,


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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.

“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."


Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.


From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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