We gotta discuss this transgender problem, folks. And hold up, before you come to my house with guns blazing, because I loaned my bulletproof vest this weekend and don't have any spare pistols lying around. Also, I'm fragile.

There's a problem here, but it's not coming from our trans brothers and sisters. Rather, it's coming from something more sinister. That something is the anti-trans wave sweeping America since North Carolina signed HB2 into law in March.

For those that don't know, HB2 is a law that forces individuals to use public bathrooms corresponding to their birth sex.

That means if you were born male, you must use the men's room, even if you don't identify with being a man, and vice versa. And not only could NC lose $5 billion from this law, but every conservative and their biologically female mother has pushed the biggest transphobic lie ever: filthy, straight men will use transgender laws to their advantage.

Responding to Donald Trump's ironic opposition to the HB2, fallen presidential candidate Ted Cruz commented in April that, “As the father of daughters, I’m not terribly excited about men being able to go alone into a bathroom with my daughters."

And if dem' transgenders have the nerve to wanna go in the mall bathrooms; Cruz thinks they shouldn't have their cake and eat it (on the toilet) unless it's in their homes:

If any one of us wants to dress up as a woman or man and wants to live as woman or man and believes that we might be something other than what we were born, God has made each of us with free will and the ability to choose to do that if man to wants to dress as a woman, and live as a woman, and have a bathroom at home.

Last month, Fox News mascot Bill O' Reilly fired off after a pro-trans editorial by saying “they say folks should just get used to the fact that transgender folks may be in the locker room with them, so according to this loony newspaper, if you have a young daughter, you should be accepting of the fact that a transgendered boy could shower next to her after an athletic exposition. That is insane."

O' Reilly's fellow righty Stacey Dash took things further in a recent TV discussion, since, you know, transgenders aren't real people; they're animals, and should "go in the bushes. I don't know what to tell you, but I'm not gonna put my child's life at risk because you want to change a law."

It's so clear! All these transgender protection laws are doing is telling every straight guy out there, "Hey! Wanna play 'Hide Le Strudel' in a little girl's bottom? Well then, dress up and come right in this here ladies room since you'll look like a woman. It's on us." Those libbies, tryin' ta make us be queer lovers and sinners so we don't get into God's Kingdom! It's a conspiracy to make us all Ru Pauls, I tells ya!

That's all true. Until you look at the facts and find it's not.

A coalition from advocacy group National Task Force To End Sexual And Domestic Violence Against Women recently noted, “Over 200 municipalities and 18 states have nondiscrimination laws protecting transgender people’s access to facilities consistent with the gender they live every day,” according to the coalition. "None of those jurisdictions have [sic] seen a rise in sexual violence or other public safety issues due to nondiscrimination laws."

From The Washington Blade:

This week Police Chief Cathy Lanier of D.C. and law enforcement officials in Maryland – both of which have laws banning discrimination against transgender people – said they could not identify a single case in which a transgender person has been charged with assaulting or harassing women in a public bathroom.

“I’m not aware of any police-related cases — none,” said Lanier when asked by the Washington Blade if D.C. police have been called to public bathrooms because of threats against women by a transgender person.

An email to Media Matters from an Austin Police Department Detective last year:

"I have never heard of any cases in which a suspect entered a public restroom while being dressed as a woman, (or claiming to be transgender), and sexually assaulted a female victim, nor have I heard of a male and assaulting another male victim in this manner. I checked with detective Rae Egan who just transferred from Sex Crimes to homicide, she too has never heard of APD working a case like that. Sergeant Benningfield was a detective in Sex Crimes before me and is currently the sergeant of the unit. She may have heard of such a case but, to my knowledge, in the six-plus years from when she left as a detective to when she came back as the sergeant there has not been a case."

Plenty more where that came from here. Transgender folks aren't men in dresses looking to sexually assault young women. Hell, if a man wanted to do that, do people really believe he'd let bathroom designations stop him from physically entering a ladies room for victims?

And hi, this argument kinda seems like it paints all straight men with a "Potential Rapist" brush.

Also, for those who believe trans people are just men and women choosing to play dress up, have a Westboro Baptist Church seat.

To illustrate how foolish this idea is, consider the following.

If you're biologically male, identify as a "man" and are only sexually attracted to "women" born female, why? Why couldn't you "choose" tomorrow to say, "I'm done messing with girls for the rest of my life. I'm gonna be gay and only date guys?"

If you're biologically female, and only attracted to men, why are you Team "Strictly d***ly?" Why can't you negotiate a draft to the 'Vagina Squad?"

I consider myself to be a straight guy. I've never seriously entertained the thought of being with a man. However, I can't tell you why that is.

My saying, "Because I just like women" doesn't answer the question, it only reaffirms my attraction. I don't know why I couldn't just go with other men. I just can't, but I also can't provide an explanation.

Sexuality is too fluid for that. It's not as easy as saying, "He's a boy, so he should only play with Tonka Trucks and shoot squirrels with his dad's BB gun." Or, "She's a girl, so she should reenact rom-coms with her Ken and Barbie doll sets and read Kid Cosmopolitan."

Is sexual attraction biological or sociological? The theory is still out.

Trans folks are just like you and me. The only real difference is, they're looking at this last paragraph and telling themselves, "F**k that! I'm a woman, regardless of society telling me I'm a man."

Who are we to tell them otherwise?