I know how you feel.
That pit in your stomach that leaves you nauseated and you can’t seem to get rid of it no matter what you try. The burning in your eyes and clenching of your fists as you hold back the tears. The wanting to go into hibernation so you can escape from everything and anything. The loss of appetite and desire to stay in bed for days on end. I have been there. I understand the frustration of not being able to shake the feeling you’re unsure of why you’re experiencing in the first place.
Depression is like a thick cloud lingering over your head and following you everywhere you go. Although, I promise, eventually you will have a sunny cloudless day. There is no predicting when this day will come, but, when there seems to be no hope, hold onto the thought that it is in your future. We all face times when we have episodes, some lasting days, some weeks, maybe even months.
Depression: a mood disorder causing a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.
Ironic that the only way to explain episodes is that depression gets depressing. It feels as if there is no out and sleeping is your only escape, if you can even sleep. Do yourself the favor of doing absolutely everything you don’t want to during an episode. I know the thought of that seems impossible, but it makes one hell of a difference. Next time you want to be alone, go out with some friends. Next time you have no appetite, go out to dinner with your family. The next time your clenching your fists and holding back tears, let them go.
Instead of protecting others from seeing you break down, let them protect you. Utilize everything you have. Your loved ones, even though it may frustrate them and they don’t get it, may willingly comfort you with open arms and a shoulder to cry on. Take
advantage of this. After all, holding feelings in is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Cry if you need to. It is far from a sign of weakness. If anything, it is showing your strength and the constant battle you face.
Please never forget how strong you truly are to go through what you face every day. I know it feels unfair at times, but there is no rewind button in life, and you can’t change that chemical imbalance in your brain so you might as well make the best out of the life you were given to live.
Every life is worth living. Despite how bad things seem right now, you would be lying to yourself if you said you never have experienced a joyful moment. Those little things in life, the small pleasures — seeing your friends and family, taking a walk in the park, laying on the beach, doing your favorite activity — those things are all worth living for.
I want you to know your strength does not go unnoticed. You, my friend, are a warrior. Never let anybody tell you differently. Hold on because happy times follow the dark ones. An arrow can only be shot by pulling it back, so when life seems to be dragging you into some of your darkest days, please know it is solely because it is going to launch you into something much greater.
Sincerely,
A fellow friend who suffers from depression
