When he first came into my life I thought he was a breath of fresh air. I had just gotten out of a very serious relationship that didn't end well. I met him online, yes I know that is stupid but it happened. Before I knew it we were skyping and talking on the phone all the time. We were friends for a few months before we finally decided to try the whole long distance thing.
For awhile I lived for out skype calls and was very happy with him. In the beginning he was exactly what I was looking for at the time. Then suddenly that all changed. I had always said that I would never tolerate any form of abuse in a relationship. As I learned, it's not as easy to get away from as I thought.
When the emotional abuse started I fought back. I always defended myself and stood my ground. By the time the relationship ended I thought I deserved it. There are still days I think back to what he said and still think it's true. I have a hard time letting people in because of him. Unfortunately for me, his abuse didn't stop the day my parents put their foot down and made me break things off.
For awhile he constantly try to convince me that it would never happen again. For obvious reasons, I would always believed him. Just like it was on a schedule, he would eventually show his true self again resulting in me blocking him. Again. We kept this cycle going until I got to college and learned that I deserved better. I blocked him from everything and attempted to move on. Newsflash, it's never that easy to get away from people like him.
Since all of that happened, there have been countless times he has somehow found me on social media and contacted me. He has tried to ruin relationships I was in and even attempted to ruin my spring break. He is manipulative and for some odd reason, set on me. The last time I heard from him was this summer. His true colors came out causing me to finally put my foot down and fight back. Obviously I blocked him, but not before he delivered devastating blows to the self-esteem I had finally built back. The last thing he said to me before I blocked him yet again was to never write about him.
He didn't want this to happen because he doesn't want attention drawn to how he treats females. No, I am not going to name him and to make it a big deal however, everyone needs to know that these things happen. He broke me. He turned my world upside down. However, I'm still standing. I am now stronger than ever. His hurtful words taught me to know my own self worth. He showed me just how strong I really am.
To those going through similar situations, it gets better. Once you get away from your toxic relationship the world is a much better place. We broke up a little over a year ago and unfortunately I still have some lasting effects. However, they are going away. I am not those things he said. I am strong. The same goes for you. The healing process sucks but it is worth it. To the jerk that broke me, thank you for playing a part in who I am today.
