Let me give you some background information before you think I am some angry, bitter girl who is ranting about how she gotten broken up with. It’s been, almost, a year since he broke up with me; a week before my high school graduation. My ex and I had dated for two and a half years until I get an email, yes seriously an email, from the boy whose car I sat in less than 24 hours ago. We went to different schools, but trained at the same gym three days a week; so the “long” distance wasn’t his motive. No, he just “didn’t like my attitude anymore.” So basically it took him two and a half years to decide I just wasn’t his type. Needless to say, it was not a clean breakup, but after a summer filled with empty tubs of Moose Tracks ice cream followed by an amazing Freshman year I discovered the ten reasons I am so happyyou sent me that email!

1. You're actually not as great as you think you are.

Any girl that has gone through a relationship with a guy that is possessive and controlling knows what it is like after you break up. Ironically, it is terrifying. I didn’t know what to do because every decision was made for me. What to wear, where to go, who to talk to and what I was doing that day was all dependent on what you wanted that day. You made me feel so unconfident and depleted my self-esteem so greatly that I am still recovering to this day. I never realized that you abused me because the only abuse society talks about is Dixie Chicks “Goodbye Earl” type abuse. No, you never gave me any bruises, or made me bleed, but, the emotional damage you caused me by telling me I was never pretty enough, never smart enough and never good enough for you caused so much damage that I continue to put myself back together every day. Now, I am so grateful for how you treated me. You showed me what I deserve: someone so much better than you.

2. I met people I would never have met

My life was you. It was either on the phone with you, working out beside you, texting you or watching your baseball games; 24/7. Even at night we would leave Skype on while we slept. You were my one and only, forever and always. Then, when forever ended, you had to be replaced. I filled it with four incredible women that I can depend on, trust and love more than any guy. I filled it with my random roommate and the other people I got to dorm with instead of living in an apartment with you. I filled with sorority sisters that see the beauty even in the common things in life. I filled it with amazing people that make me feel amazing, all because you broke up with me, and for that, I am so grateful.

3. I go places you never would have let me go

With you, my itinerary consisted of weight rooms, batting cages and your family’s dining room. I was busy with everything you were doing, that I “had” to support you with. Now, I get to travel with my best friend using only an atlas and our beautiful personalities. Freshman year alone, we’ve driven twelve hours to see a one night concert. We’ve stayed in random houses and befriended strangers. We’ve formed bonds with people from all over the U.S. while we spent hours shivering in line, waiting for our favorite band. We ate cannolis in New York with two people who we met on the street. Since you broke up with me I am finally getting to explore outside the cage you kept me in.

4. I do things you never would have let me do

I know I am beating a dead horse with the whole “you were a controlling jerk” thing, so let’s skip the sad history and talk about my fantastic life that I now get to have. I joined a sorority, which may be the best decision of my entire life. I have an amazing job with students that teach me how to be a better person and appreciate what I have every day. I go to yoga. I have had internships in this beautiful city of Indianapolis. I sing in the community showers. I serenade the drivers in the cars next to me. I go on crazy road trips and dream of traveling. I can write poetry and take hideous selfies that I absolutely love. I look at life every day and can really live in it. Thank you for that.

5. I can finally relate to angry breakup songs

One of my favorite Spotify playlist is called “Move on and Don’t Look Back.” I love that I can jam to Beyoncé, Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys again. Taylor Swift is my guilty pleasure. Singing the lyrics to these songs is like recharging the battery of my self-confidence. It’s my tone deaf pledge to love myself and to depend on me, myself and I. It’s realizing how much better off you are, and saying “Sayonara” to all the bad memories associated with you. While my friends and family might hate you for giving me an excuse to blare Aly and AJ over the aux cord, I cannot thank you enough!

6. I learned how to depend on myself

For the first time in over four years I got to find satisfaction in my own opinion. I was able to decide what to wear and what I felt pretty in. I spent the money for your graduation gift on a pair of bright blue Nike’s that you would have hated. They are my favorite pair in my closet. Instead of hiding in your shadow, doing what you wanted, I got to flaunt these statement pieces while I treated my body to trips to the gym. I go out and eat breakfast by myself. I feel confident in making decisions, and standing my ground. I learned how to say "no" and do what is best for me. Even though I am still working on it, I thank you.

7. I smile everyday

Without you I don’t focus on the negative. I see myself in a positive light and love every part of me. I share my positive light and feel so much more content with my world without you in it. I see the good in people and I look for the benefit instead of the loss. Yes, people will hurt me and things won’t go my way, but if I look for the lesson instead of the punishment I can appreciate life more. I’m optimistic and show the smile that you wanted me to hide.

8. I don't need a man

I thought that I needed someone to be my other half, my rock, my support. I thought that I needed someone to always talk to. I thought I needed someone to tell me that I was pretty, and without that, I wasn’t pretty. Once I figured out that I didn’t need someone to tell me my worth, I started gaining my worth again. I finally felt like the really confident and independent woman I always acted like. I gained self-confidence, I loved myself, I felt beautiful. I will say, you have made it a lot harder for the future guys in my life. Once a girl learns how to stand on her own she surrounds herself with those she wants, not who she needs.

9. Guys are for fun

Speaking of guys that I want, I can get what I want now. I can blush over attention that you always made me feel guilty for. "If I didn’t dress or act the way I do then they wouldn’t flirt with me; if I actually loved you, I wouldn’t have guys flirt with me." Hey, I can’t help that I am beautiful and my personality is on fire. I love that I can flirt with who I want, ignore who I want, Netflix and chill or do a marathon of House of Cards with just myself and Kevin Spacey. The beauty of not having your strangling commitment is the greatest thing about this breakup. Plus, I don’t feel guilty for being the gorgeous woman I am. I can finally have guy friends again, because, I do love my ladies, but y’all are some emotional beings. I get to put those in my life that I want. I don’t have to settle for someone less. I can see guys that are like you, and I avoid them like Frank Underwood averts questions from the press. I won’t go back to a relationship like the one you and I had. I’m may still be waiting to find the guy I want to keep but I thank you from saving me from boys like you.

10. I fell in love with myself

If anyone doesn’t know “Because I am Awesome” by the Dollyrots, stop what you’re doing and listen to the song that will change your life. I never have to hear you say I’m not pretty enough, I’m not funny, I’m looking a little chunky, that I’m disgusting and that you don’t want me. I don’t care about your opinions of me, because I don’t need your opinion to love myself. It took awhile but I started to love taking selfies again; to love my reflection again. Now it will be a rare occasion that I don’t look at myself every time I pass a shiny object. I love myself. I sing “Pretty Girl Rock" by Keri Hilson switching her name with my own. I’m an awesome, funny, dorky, beautiful ball of amazingness.

I love me. To start loving yourself, start looking in the mirror. The person looking back at you is all you have so you better start loving every “flaw” you have. Wake up every morning and tell yourself three things you love about yourself. Your ringtone should be your theme song (mine is “Bad Mama Jama” by Carl Carlton) and you should have a “Me” playlist filled with songs that boost your inner winner. Don’t depend on other people’s opinions to mold your self image. You are amazing, surround yourself with those that believe the same. And if you're with a guy or girl who is anything like person who broke up with me, you deserve better, so go out and get it!