"I'm proud of you. You are a fighter & I love that about you."

I've rarely, if ever, been described as cute. Or sweet. Or particularly dainty or precious.

I've always, always been:

stubborn.

& bold.

& brave.

& quick.

& witty.

& strong.

& fighting.

I've always been a fighter. & I've fought that part of myself for so long. Because girls aren't supposed to be strong or brave or too witty or too smart or too bold - those girls scare off the boys. Those girls end up alone, because they're too much for men to handle.

So I've struggled to banish the part of myself that wants to fight and struggle and constantly be "going and getting." The part of me that has learned to be strong & independent. The part of me that is rarely scared & is almost always willing to speak up about something.

I'm not doing that anymore.

To the girls who are fighters -

You were made that way. The fighter in you is beautiful. You were made to go and to get and to be bold and brave and strong and fierce. You don't have to play small to make anyone else feel more comfortable. Please, just don't play small because you aren't doing anyone any favors. We need all of you -- the loud & messy & brave parts, too.

Cute is not the goal.

Pretty is not the goal.

Acceptance is not the goal.

A man is not the goal - but please hear me: There are men out there who are strong & secure enough to handle a fighter like you. I have one & he is all of the wonderful things. He's also imperfect & he is not a prince, but he's a fighter, too. Any man who tries to stifle you or make you feel small to make himself feel better is not a man - he's a child. Wait for the man who fights with you. & if he doesn't come along - you fight for yourself & you walk confidently in that. A man is not the goal.

I can't define your goal for you. But please let your goals be worthy of a girl like you. Don't reduce yourself to a skin-deep existence, because you've bought the lie that being a fighter is a flaw.

You can be beautiful & kind & precious & you can also fight really hard for the things that matter to you, because oh my goodness the world really needs some people who are bold enough to speak up about the things that matter. Just do it well, please. Do us all a favor & use all of that energy & that beautiful, brave voice of yours to really say something instead of just adding to all of the noise.

To the girls who are fighters -

Be stubborn.

& bold.

& brave.

& quick.

& witty.

& strong.

To the girls who are fighters -

I'm proud of you. You are a fighter, & I love that about you.