To the girl who skipped the party stage,

I get it, girl. I am right there with you. To be honest, parties were my biggest fear going into college and especially joining a sorority. I had a constant fear that I was going to be that outsider, that while everyone was out having a good time on Friday and Saturday nights, that I was going to be at home sitting by myself eating cookie dough and watching Disney movies (which may I say actually is pretty dang enjoyable and I have no shame in it).

Anyways, parties were never my scene. In high-school, PTL that my friends were the ones where we stayed in and watched movies and got ice cream and encouraged me to pursue Jesus, instead of parties. So when I got to college, boy were my eyes opened. I remember when I went to my first party, and I had no clue-

And when I say I had actually no clue, I really mean it.

I was like a lost puppy, and it was quite embarrassing now that I think about it.

I was surrounded by a bunch of pretty girls I didn't know and a bunch of frat boys who intimidated the living crap out of me.

Thankfully, I had one of my sisters with me who knew that this was not my scene and she helped me feel more comfortable with the situation. And after a while, after talking to a good bit of people, I felt more comfortable.

But for a while there, I tried to be someone I wasn't, I tried to blend in with that crowd.

Let me say, that trying to be someone you're not, has a lot more consequences than just staying yourself.

For a while, I tried to maintain that identity. And it wasn't hard, it actually was quite fun. But I can't tell you the number of conversations I had with myself battling between this person I had become and who I knew I always was.

I think that was probably one of the most physically/emotionally/spiritually draining things I've ever encountered. And I'm gonna be brutally honest that I made a lot of mistakes that I wish I wouldn't have done.

As the year went on, and even now, those mistakes shaped me and made me grow in a very positive way, something I was not expecting in the slightest.

It gave me a new mindset about myself and really clarified who I am, what I wanted in relationships, for my college career, etc.

Honestly, that first year of college, all those mistakes I made, I am beyond grateful I made them.

Which sounds very, very weird to say, but it is true.

Freshman year, I learned things that were going to shape my sophomore year. Sophomore year, I am learning things that are going to shape my junior year and so on.

Making mistakes means you're trying. And those mistakes added up become experiences.

The reality is everyone messes up- some people mess up royally and some mess up not as much. I would say that messing up is better than faking perfection any day.

Your past helps mold you, but it doesn't define you- unless you let it.

Forgive yourself. Not just once, but again. And again.. and again.. and again.. as many times as it takes to find peace.

The most beautiful thing about life is that you can change and you can grow and you can get better. You are not defined by your past. You are not your mistakes.

I encourage you to keep being yourself, and pursuing after the person you know you want to be. It might mean losing friends who don't agree with what you're doing or you don't agree with what they are doing. But along the way, you will find those that challenge you and keep pushing you to do and become the best you that you can be.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying letting loose is a bad thing. I love to have a good time, trust me. You just have to find a balance in everything. The most important thing is you stay true to yourself in whatever situation you're in.

Don't shape yourself differently to fit into the situation, let the situation shape differently to fit around you.